Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished. John Gray More Quotes by John Gray More Quotes From John Gray When a man can listen to a woman's feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it safe for her to express herself. The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs. John Gray encouragement acceptance appreciation Success lies in doing not what others consider to be great but what you consider to be right. John Gray success lying To love someone is to acknowledge the goodness of who they are. Through loving a person we awaken their awareness of their own innate goodness. It is as though they cannot know how worthy they are until they look into the mirror of our love and see themselves. John Gray appreciation love relationship A women under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood John Gray relief stress problem Love brings up our unresolved feelings . One day we are feeling loved , and the next day we are suddenly afraid to trust love . The painful memories of being rejected begin to surface when we are faced with trusting and accepting our partner's love . John Gray next-day feelings memories The number one way a man can succeed in fulfilling a woman's primary love needs is through communication. By learning to listen to a woman's feelings, a man can effectively shower a woman with caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. John Gray communication caring love-you We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways - the ways we react and behave when we love someone. John Gray assuming relationship way If I seek to fulfill my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win. John Gray marriage couple relationship You may wish to be loving - you may even try with all your might - but your love will never be pure unless you are free from resentment. When we are free from resentment, loving is effortless. When we have to try hard to love, this is generally a sign that we are repressing our resentments. John Gray loving-you wish love-you when man and women are able to respect and accept there differences the love has a chance to blossom John Gray differences able men Take time off to give to yourself, in a sense to fill yourself up to fullness, to where now you can overflow in giving. John Gray overflow fullness giving A woman's sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships. John Gray money self relationship If we are to feel the positive feelings of love, happiness, trust, and gratitude, we periodically also have to feel anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow. John Gray gratitude sadness feelings When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. John Gray money relationship men Life is filled with rhythms-day and night, hot and cold, summer and winter, spring and fall, cloudy and clear. Likewise in a relationship, men and women have their own rhythms and cycles. John Gray summer spring fall Our lives are more like fragmentary dreams than the enactments of conscious selves. We control very little of what we most care about; many of our most fateful decisions are made unbeknownst to ourselves. Yet we insist that mankind can achieve what we cannot: conscious mastery of its existence. This is the creed of those who have given up an irrational belief in God for an irrational faith in mankind. John Gray decision self dream always thought of myself as a loving person. But she was right. I had been a fair-weather friend. As long as she was happy and nice, I loved back. But if she was unhappy or upset, I would feel blamed and then argue or distance myself John Gray distance nice weather A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results. John Gray money relationship men we are unique individuals with unique experiences John Gray unique-individuals individual unique Because she is afraid of not being supported, she unknowingly pushes away the support she needs. John Gray support needs