MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate. Ambrose Bierce plates care husband ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ." Ambrose Bierce names father art PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream. Ambrose Bierce future dream past RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem. Ambrose Bierce indifference poet differences A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting the impressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in the pa Ambrose Bierce success long art Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals. Ambrose Bierce records change art PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it. Ambrose Bierce beneficial unexpected persons WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. Ambrose Bierce tongue affliction unexpected REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words. Ambrose Bierce tempest truth way OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground. Ambrose Bierce oblivion wicked struggle A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit. Ambrose Bierce good-luck feet rabbits CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance. Ambrose Bierce dog doe watches PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. Ambrose Bierce health hope dog FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat. Ambrose Bierce horse cat tails SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt. Ambrose Bierce cat religious character PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness. Ambrose Bierce punishment nature time GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student. Ambrose Bierce medical students science HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that Ambrose Bierce hyenas doe night SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent. Ambrose Bierce logic assumption science MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway. Ambrose Bierce medicine dog science
