Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair. John Hodgman More Quotes by John Hodgman More Quotes From John Hodgman Terry Gross has never had me on her show and you know, it's her show; she sets the agenda and that's not Hodgman. But I'll still listen to it. John Hodgman gross agendas shows What I collect? Interesting jobs. Always to my thrill and excitement, but ultimately to my exhaustion, I collect interesting jobs. If an interesting job comes along, I take it; that's why I do so many things. I'm lucky to be able to. John Hodgman lucky jobs interesting I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect. John Hodgman moxie soda bottles I believe that by releasing "passing interest/low keepsake-value literature" from the burden of physicality, you are actually releasing the words from their worst liability: the price and inconvenience of actual bookness. John Hodgman burden literature believe I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays. John Hodgman mustache ugly beautiful I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could. John Hodgman thighs breastfeeding eggs Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it's not that much fun. John Hodgman alcohol fun people I don't really collect anything. I mean, if I see a piece of Moxie soda memorabilia, I'll probably buy it. I'm a sucker for regional soda brands and forgotten histories and that sort of thing. John Hodgman moxie pieces mean I've only ever been mistaken for myself. People draw a lot of comparisons to all of the round-faced, mustached men of entertainment that make me cringe and sick to my stomach about how the world really sees me and they're right. John Hodgman sick men people When you're sitting down and you're blocked and you just start writing and something in your mind just clicks, you start seeing connections and so on, you really do feel like you're channeling something else. John Hodgman sitting-down mind writing I am a marginally employed person who can escape with my school teacher wife to the waters of Maine for much of the summer. John Hodgman summer teacher school Maine's motto is "Vacationland," but as far as I'm concerned, it should be, "Maine: Putting the 'spite' in hospitality since 1820." John Hodgman maine hospitality motto One of the things about crowd work that's so exciting is when you discover a character in the audience who's interesting or funny, who you can vibe off of. If someone's got a weird job that you can make reference to throughout, or you can bring that person onstage - humiliate them, or celebrate them! You can put people in conversation with one another. The best is when something that they're doing can reflect back on something that you're doing. John Hodgman jobs character people That catharsis is really the core of the incredibly personal comedy of Louis C.K. or Marc Maron or whatever. And look - I find it fascinating that I'm sitting here talking about some of these things, and not to low tones, and my kids are in the other room. I have to trust that if they hear what I'm saying and they have questions about it, I'll be able to answer it, and that's fine. But that's part of the scariness of it - the reality of opening up my own life and my own feelings. John Hodgman opening-up kids reality Elwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, "I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me." John Hodgman hate personality white In a mad moment, my family and I purchased a home in Maine because it's the place in the world that my wife loves better than any other place or any other human, and so I have committed my life and what had once been my economic security that has now returned to insecurity, to a patch of painful, rocky land on the shores of horrible, cold waters to a place where people go in the summer to experience autumn because leaves start falling on August 1. John Hodgman summer home fall Anyone of conscience could come look at my book and see it as an esoteric oddity or be intrigued by it. It could happen either way on a thousand different little decisions each individual might make. John Hodgman oddities decision book I don't care if I tell that story and John Roderick gets up afterward and yells, 'I hope you enjoyed the white privilege, mortality comedy of John Hodgman!' That's me!" I'm going to play a sad Handsome Family song at the end and I guarantee you everyone is going to love it because, sometimes, you need a grown man or woman to tell you what you like. John Hodgman play song men Once you're out in a place where there's one sheriff for the county, people have to learn how to get along with each other and that means going to the dump illegally and dumping your garbage and hoping the guys don't call you on it and being terrified of this to your core until you realize after many years that the guys at the dump don't really care where your garbage is coming from. John Hodgman mean people years I don't watch television. And certainly not ads; I loathe advertising. John Hodgman advertising watches television
