My brother had a mustache, and when my brother had a mustache, it was cool. When I had a mustache, everyone just assumed I'm an immigrant and I don't speak English, which is fascinating. It was a fascinating thing to discover how I looked versus my brother with a mustache.

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Categorized in : Brother Speak English Mustache

Telling me that I’m obsessed with talking about racism in America is like telling me I’m obsessed with swimming when I’m drowning.

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swimming talking america

I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy. And it's not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the Native Americans. But vegan Thanksgiving - that's just spitting on the graves, isn't it?

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funny-thanksgiving soy native-american

It's a sick thing, right: people are afraid of public speaking. I do public speaking, except my public speaking involves the audience only having one type of emotion and one type of reaction. If they have anything other than laughter, it's a failure. That's an absurd thing for a human to try to seek. The main thing to realize is that whatever I say, it's my truth and I believe in it, and if I don't get a laugh off that, then it's not working.

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laughter believe people

For years now, people have mentioned my mustache and get disappointed that when they see me live I don't have a mustache.

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mustache people years

I like playing with that space between laughter and discomfort where your discomfort can also make you laugh, and you're confused about the mixed feelings. That's challenging, and I think that's what makes for some of the best art.

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confused laughter art

Just give us 50 years where we're the only ones who are allowed to profit from art, and then you can do whoever you want. In fact, I'll buy you the paint. Whatever you want. Just give us 50 years. 50 years. That's it.

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paint giving art

People always talk about the content, in terms of the politics of it or whatever social issues are in it, and it's like, "Yeah, but I'm also a good comic." You could at least talk about the form of it, and I feel like that's always the thing that's missed.

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comic issues people

I don't tie my shoes right. I tie them the way you would tie a gift, like a bow.

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bows shoes ties

We've never had a female President in this country, which I find stunning

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female president country

When you're a person of color in white America, you know white people. You know why you know white people? Because you can't enjoy any kind of entertainment if you are not able to humanize white people. If you watch a film and are like, "Oh, this has white people in it? Then I'm not interested," then you can't enjoy anything in America!

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film kind people

Who controls the images? Ultimately, we don't control the images. This is the minimum we're allowed to ask for: we don't get to control most of the media. We fight to have some say in the ways we're represented. At the bare minimum, don't insult us in person. That's all we ask! Let us at least be able to function freely in the world.

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insult fighting world

I had a phase where I had a mustache. There was several times where I had a mustache. I had a mustache in high school because South Asian men can potentially have a great deal of facial hair. So I had a mustache at 14, and then I grew a proper mustache a few years ago. I just thought it would be fun to just have a mustache.

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fun men school

It's always fun when you see different comics at different weights or with different hair.

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weight hair fun

I've always looked older.

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I always have a bit of a look, a bit of a frown.

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bits looks

I wrote a lot of poetry in the last two years of high school, all about the same girl I was in love with. That was pretty awful. Did you know that in poetry, every line does not need to rhyme?

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girl years school

I don't drink before shows.

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drink shows

It would be cool for someone to ask me about some of the structural choices I make with my albums.

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albums choices would-be

There are a lot of times where people think I'm in things that I'm not in, because they think I'm Kumail Nanjiani.

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people thinking

There are some dogs that are gigantic that look like they shouldn't be in existence.

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existence dog looks