...my conscience has the same hard reality as a unicorn. Jeff Lindsay More Quotes by Jeff Lindsay More Quotes From Jeff Lindsay Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children? Jeff Lindsay crazy sleep children Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting. Jeff Lindsay obligation interesting I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book Jeff Lindsay situation instruction book I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Jeff Lindsay party talking ideas No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside. Jeff Lindsay tricks bigs blood Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them. Jeff Lindsay stupid mind people Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me. Jeff Lindsay language use dirty Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work. Jeff Lindsay afternoon showers chance Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake. Jeff Lindsay fake emotional real Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness? Jeff Lindsay easier accepting insanity ...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain. Jeff Lindsay loyalty together brain The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me. Jeff Lindsay accomplishment keys happy-life I did not like this feeling of having feelings. Jeff Lindsay feelings The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it? Jeff Lindsay bad-times walks mind A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me. Jeff Lindsay phony like-me men I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff. Jeff Lindsay pushing-it tongue heart Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation. Jeff Lindsay special believe people First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning. Jeff Lindsay cliche comfort firsts I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better. Jeff Lindsay black-and-white believe thinking What a terrible thing life can be. Jeff Lindsay terrible-things terrible