My dad's idea of punishment was to dress me up in all green to disguise me as grass, and then throw me in the pasture. Cows bit me all over. Bryan Callen More Quotes by Bryan Callen More Quotes From Bryan Callen Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest. Bryan Callen pigeons messages letters Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date and you show up on a horse. Bryan Callen horse car guy Its always a shock to me when I get recognized. Bryan Callen shock I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun! Bryan Callen heart fun two I celebrate masculinity when I'm onstage. Bryan Callen masculinity celebrate There are so many hot, sexy women in L.A. Bryan Callen sexy-women sexy hot My parents were really nice to me. Bryan Callen really-nice nice parent As an actor, you're never busy enough. Bryan Callen actors enough busy My point of view is that men are basically animals, and I'm okay with that. Bryan Callen views animal men Some comics really thrive on being disrespectful, especially toward women, and it's somehow understood as edgy, but I'm the opposite. I've never liked curse words for that reason. Bryan Callen disrespectful reason opposites Stand-up comedy is all you. It's your show, it's your game. You control every aspect of it - of that experience and that expression. There's really nothing quite as satisfying. Bryan Callen game you comedy experience I don't know much, but I like talking to people who know a lot more than I do. Bryan Callen like know talking people If you actually get down to the nitty-gritty of the average Pakistani, the average Indian, the average whoever, what you really do know emotionally is that they're exactly the same. Bryan Callen down get know you I've always wanted to be a brooding, deep, dark artist, but I can never keep that facade going for more than 15 minutes. Bryan Callen deep never i-can dark Comedy is surprise. Comedy is not something that you can, necessarily, do twice. Bryan Callen something you comedy surprise If you're the Rolling Stones, you can sing 'Start Me Up' for 35 years, and people still cheer. Bryan Callen start me you people One of the beautiful things about podcasting is that I'm not beholding to some public entity. Bryan Callen things beautiful-things beautiful Being in quite a few movies... there's always things that are changing about a film. Bryan Callen movies things being always Women find men attractive who are aggressive... but later on, they get worried that that aggression, that alpha energy, is going to be turned back against them and their children. Bryan Callen women energy men children I'm always driven to keep doing something different and better. Bryan Callen something doing better always
