My ego and my vanities have nothing to do with comedy. Jerry Lewis More Quotes by Jerry Lewis More Quotes From Jerry Lewis If I found the cure for dystrophy tomorrow, I would do a telethon in four weeks for acute pain that in this country is a bigger problem than cancer, heart, sickle cell, anemia, name it. It is - it's hitting 70 million Americans. Jerry Lewis cancerpaincountry A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't people have an affection for me and what I've done? Didn't I have to be genuine for them to buy into what I did? There are children who grow up today who will not have that when they're 55 years old. With whom will they have it? Name an example for me. Jerry Lewis growing-upchildrenyears Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life. Jerry Lewis loyaltygivinghands Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house! Jerry Lewis pityhousewant From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I've taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you're gonna have problems. Jerry Lewis takentwofall I tell young comics, 'Do you want this badly enough? It's there. But you have to go get it. And if you think I'm going to give you the key to the lock of that door, there is no key, there is no lock, and there is no door.' Jerry Lewis keysdoorsthinking I really am opinionated, but not for long. I have found myself coming off of what I think of something because the guy I'm talking to makes better sense than I am. I have so many points of view, I can't keep track of 'em, because I talk to too many people... I'm not so opinionated that I won't budge. Jerry Lewis viewstalkingthinking This is the pain pacemaker. I've got a battery under my skin. From that battery are two electrodes that go into the spine where they cut bone away to accommodate it. Now I put on the power here. If I have the pain, the stimulator starts. It's tingling, like when your foot falls asleep, you know? Jerry Lewis cuttingpainfall When I hit around 65, 66, I started to feel tremendous worth and incredible personal esteem. I was becoming very cognisant of my contribution to the American spirit of helping your fellow man and all of the good stuff. Jerry Lewis fellow-manstuffmen If I've learned anything in the more than 50 years that I've led MDA, it's that the generosity of the American people knows no bounds. I'm sure that with their fellow citizens in such dire need, they'll dig deep and do everything they can to help. I'm hopeful that many people will be willing to make two phone calls and donate to both causes. Jerry Lewis phonestwoyears If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well. Jerry Lewis wellsknow-howgovernment I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct. Jerry Lewis common-senseinstinctdoors When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience. Jerry Lewis adrenalinepainhurt When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man. Jerry Lewis would-bemenneeds Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats, ladies wore girdles. We came straight out of the blue - nobody was expecting anything like Martin and Lewis. A sexy guy and a monkey is how some people saw us. Jerry Lewis sexybluerunning Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been winning fortunes, and I've been losing them. Jerry Lewis gamblinglosingwinning I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television. Jerry Lewis cartoonchildrenthinking (The Nutty Professor) was a labor of love. It was a total film. It was the most productive, creative work of my life. Jerry Lewis professorsfilmcreative I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe. Jerry Lewis smarthotneeds I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have and I never will. I'm an entertainer for 75 years. Jerry Lewis entertainersaudienceyears
