My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him. Les Dawson More Quotes by Les Dawson More Quotes From Les Dawson The mother-in-law is the centre of a family. Les Dawson centre law mother With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever. Les Dawson clever men thinking I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum. Les Dawson shields red faces I know my name will always be linked with women. Les Dawson linked names knows Slumps don't bother me. Les Dawson slumps bother My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.' Les Dawson day dance hope sea When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn't take me to the doctor, he used me as a night light. Les Dawson doctor me light night Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up. Les Dawson finish where up marriage You do something you're really quite proud of, and the public doesn't like it. Then you do something that perhaps you're not at all happy with and the public loves it. And that's the moment of truth, because it's the audience that's the final judge. Les Dawson moment you truth happy When we were courting, I told my wife: 'I could live in your eyes.' She said: 'You'd be at home; there's a stye in one of them.' Les Dawson eyes you wife home
