My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. J. B. Smoove More Quotes by J. B. Smoove More Quotes From J. B. Smoove This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache. J. B. Smoove mustacheitaliangiving Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh. J. B. Smoove mirrorspeoplethinking I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage. J. B. Smoove easierguyfound I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use. J. B. Smoove productsusebelieve I have to satisfy my audience. J. B. Smoove audience I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars. J. B. Smoove truckdodgecar For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place. J. B. Smoove moving As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do. J. B. Smoove successfulgolfmoving I think comedy evolves constantly. I reinvent myself all the time. I always find a way to entertain myself because I truly believe you have to entertain yourself in order to relate it the right way to your audience. J. B. Smoove orderbelievethinking I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer. J. B. Smoove buttonsfiredoors I'm, like, everybody's friend. I'm one of those dudes. I can be friends with anybody. Any race of person, any personality, I can kind of deal with them. I accept different types of people. J. B. Smoove racepersonalitypeople I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him. J. B. Smoove ohiosmartnew-york Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is nuts. All you gotta do is shut him down and don't support any of his movies. J. B. Smoove supportnutspeople I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else. J. B. Smoove fearlessbugsstories The ruckus is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got to have a high tolerance for dealing with stuff all the time. J. B. Smoove different-experiencestolerancedifferent Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night. J. B. Smoove blamegirlnight We came here to pick up chicks, not talk about dicks. J. B. Smoove chickspicks I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS. J. B. Smoove couplehandsthinking Pursuing your dreams involves you accepting where you want to go. Don't allow anybody else to talk you out of things or discourage you from doing whatever you want to do. You can hold on to your dream and never pursue it or you can start pursuing it. If you can see it, or if you can envision it... it can happen. J. B. Smoove acceptingdreamwant You can't take everything that is offered to you. I pass on a lot of stuff, because I truly believe that I will shine better if I could do it 200 percent rather than do it 80 percent and make it so-so. J. B. Smoove shiningstuffbelieve
