My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky as you can get without being alcoholics. Sloane Crosley More Quotes by Sloane Crosley More Quotes From Sloane Crosley Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town? Sloane Crosley imperfect towns sleep I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene. Sloane Crosley portland scene creative New Yorkers have a delightfully narcissistic habit of assuming that if they're not conscious of a scene, it doesn't exist. Sloane Crosley narcissistic assuming habit I write on weekends, on vacation, and, really - on deadline and on my floor. Both terrible for the back. Sloane Crosley vacation weekend writing I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job. Sloane Crosley accepted college jobs In my lame pescetarian defense, it's very hard to be a girl and say you won't eat something. Refuse one plate of bacon-wrapped pork rinds and you're anorexic. Accept them and you're on the Atkins. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and you're bulimic. Best to keep perfectly still and bring an IV of fluids with you to dinner. Sloane Crosley pork defense girl I have definitely had experiences where I can feel the shift from simply living my life to being slightly outside of my life and taking notes. Sloane Crosley notes living-my-life feels It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep. Sloane Crosley girl creative fun Ah, the power of two. There's nothing quite like it. Especially when it comes to paying utility bills, parenting, cooking elaborate meals, purchasing a grown-up bed, jumping rope and lifting heavy machinery. The world favours pairs. Who wants to waste the wood building an ark for singletons? Sloane Crosley jumping cooking two My A-number one visceral fear is speed. More than knives or snakes or confined spaces. Speed. I won't even go on a motor boat if I can help it. Sloane Crosley knives snakes numbers Our culture's obsession with vintage objects has rendered us unable to separate history from nostalgia. People want heart. They want a chaser of emotion with their aesthetics. Sloane Crosley vintage heart people I have a disproportionate amount of faith in the goodness of the world and that everything will actually work out okay. Sloane Crosley work-out goodness world They say it's not the snoring itself but those anxiety-packed moments in between snorts. It's the waiting for the nasal passages of the person lying beside you to strike again. And strike it always does. In the dark, almost against your will, you produce that special glare reserved for people who cannot control their own behaviour. Sloane Crosley dark lying people I was pretty dorky, but there are tiers of dorkdom and I always had friends, though they were equally dorky. I was one of those kids who contracted cooties in the second grade and then had cooties, because there wasn't a vaccine for it. When I was around people, though, I generally wanted to make them laugh. I told a lot of stories. Sloane Crosley vaccines kids people I can't see the forest through the trees, except the trees are people. Sloane Crosley forests tree people Being a writer is an endless study in human transition and lessons learned or forgotten or misapplied. Sloane Crosley lesson-learned transition lessons For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken. Sloane Crosley quality taken yesterday I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us. Sloane Crosley nice kids reality I love giving people advice on what to do with their books, but I don't really know how a Kindle Single gets covered. Sloane Crosley giving book people Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics. Sloane Crosley alaska together sweet