No one ever grew up intending to be an umpire, except perhaps my friend Bill Haller. His brother Tom wanted to be a catcher, so an affinity for masks must run in that family. Ron Luciano More Quotes by Ron Luciano More Quotes From Ron Luciano Like some cult religion that barely survives, there has always been at least one but rarely more than five or six devotees throwing the knuckleball in the big leagues . . . Not only can't pitchers control it, hitters can't hit it, catchers can't catch it, coaches can't coach it and most pitchers can't learn it. The perfect pitch. Ron Luciano knuckleballs league perfect Umpiring is best described as the profession of standing between two seven-year olds with one ice cream cone. Ron Luciano ice-cream two years The practical joke is the psychiatry of baseball. Ron Luciano psychiatry practicals baseball Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle--once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun. Ron Luciano games fun people One reason I never called balks is that I never understood the rule. Ron Luciano understood reason Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing. Ron Luciano umpires kings Lou Piniella only argues on days ending with the letter 'y'. Ron Luciano arguing letters Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game. Home is where the heartache is. Ron Luciano games home heart Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is . . . well, an umpire. Ron Luciano umpires claims play If it's true you learn from your mistakes, Jim Frey will be the best manager ever Ron Luciano true-you being-the-best mistake I never called a balk in my life. I didn't understand the rule. Ron Luciano