Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative. Daniel Handler More Quotes by Daniel Handler More Quotes From Daniel Handler The real Santa Claus is at the mall. Daniel Handler santa christmas real How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed makes you kissable, like feeling warm makes you coffee, like liking movies makes you a director. How utterly incorrect to think it any other way, a box of crap is treasures, a boy smiling means it, a gentle moment is a life improved. Daniel Handler coffee beautiful mean They say that when you’re really in love, the world becomes gossamer and gorgeous, but in my experience the world gets grimy, and the love object is in stark relief from the surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street. Daniel Handler ugly relief world Make sure you have your own mask on, before helping others with theirs. Daniel Handler mask helping-others helping The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. Daniel Handler miracle done way Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel. Daniel Handler novel writing firsts There are secrets everywhere. I think everyone's parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them. Daniel Handler parent secret thinking I was too jitterbuggy happy to sleep, and the whole day kept playing in my brain's little screening room. Daniel Handler brain sleep littles A newspaper, as I'm sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes. Daniel Handler horse media mistake In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between. Daniel Handler worry men people Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine. Daniel Handler playlists no-friends mines Blank paper has always inspired me. Daniel Handler blank-paper inspired paper I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dull. So when I embarked into the world of picture books, my first thought was to do something about the dark. Daniel Handler dark book thinking I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned. Daniel Handler kind people thinking I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind automatically went to any terrible thing that could happen. Daniel Handler brave children thinking I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in a bookstore together. I like to receive reference books on my birthday. Daniel Handler birthday book thinking You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way smoke can cover a landscape so that all anyone can see is black. You may find that if someone pours water all over you, you are damp and distracted, but not cured of your sadness, the way a fire department can douse a fire but never recover what has been burnt down. Daniel Handler sad fire water The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as if you have been set aflame, not only because of the enormous pain, but also because your sadness may spread over your life, like smoke from an enormous fire. Daniel Handler sad pain fire Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both. Daniel Handler pens thinking He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked. Daniel Handler umbrella rainy-day wanted