One of the insights I took from this process was that the compliments we so frequently and often unconsciously bestow on girls can actually have a negative effect and even become a source of pain and disempowerment, while counterintuitive, compliments, especially the ones related to physical appearance like 'you're so cute; you're adorable,' were perceived as limiting and oppressive, making girls feel that the expectations on them were focused on their appearance and not on their abilities or what was inside.