Our sadness is an energy we discharge in order to heal. …Sadness is painful. We try to avoid it. Actually discharging sadness releases the energy involved in our emotional pain. To hold it in is to freeze the pain within us. The therapeutic slogan is that grieving is the ‘healing feeling.’

John Bradshaw

Categorized in : Healing Pain Sadness

It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers -- they help us to learn.

John Bradshaw

mistake education teacher

Guilt says I've done something wrong; ... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; ... shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what did was not good; ... shame says I am no good.

John Bradshaw

umpires guilt mistake

Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are.

John Bradshaw

knowing-who-you-are opinion self

I have never met an aggressive person who wasn’t a fearful person.

John Bradshaw

fearful aggressive mets

We cannot heal what we cannot feel.

John Bradshaw

heal feels

The capacity for love that makes dogs such rewarding companions has a flip-side: They find it difficult to cope without us. Since we humans programmed this vulnerability, it's our responsibility to ensure that our dogs do not suffer as a result.

John Bradshaw

responsibility suffering dog

It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now. When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies. We are seeing what is before us.

John Bradshaw

here-and-now mark artist

True love heals and affects spiritual growth. If we do not grow because of someone else’s love, it’s generally because it is a counterfeit form of love.

John Bradshaw

growth form spiritual

To truly be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.

John Bradshaw

discipline honesty reality

The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them back.

John Bradshaw

frustrated lost-love creativity

Shame is the root of all addictions.

John Bradshaw

shame addiction roots

Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment.

John Bradshaw

relationship children reality

Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group and talking about our pain.

John Bradshaw

soulmate pain love

You can't heal what you can't feel!

John Bradshaw

heal feels

Arrogance is a way for a person to cover up shame. After years of arrogance, the arrogant person is so out of touch, she truly doesn't know who she is. This is one of the greatest tragedies of shame cover-ups: not only does the person hide from others, she also hides from herself.

John Bradshaw

arrogant-person arrogance years

I believe that this neglected, wounded, inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.

John Bradshaw

believe children past

All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.

John Bradshaw

storm feelings needs

It's essential to tell the truth at all times. This will reduce life's pain. Lying distorts reality. All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.

John Bradshaw

pain truth lying

The drivenness in any addiction is about the ruptured self, the belief that one is flawed as a person. The content of the addiction, whether it is alcoholism or work, is an attempt at an intimate relationship. The workaholic with her work or the alcoholic with his booze are having a love affair. Each alters mood to avoid the feeling of loneliness and hurt in the underbelly of shame.

John Bradshaw

loneliness intimate-relationships hurt

The spiritual quest is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination. We are spiritual beings on an earthly journey. Our spirituality makes up our beingness.

John Bradshaw

benefits journey spiritual