Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain. Tara Brach More Quotes by Tara Brach More Quotes From Tara Brach Fear of being a flawed person lay at the root of my trance, and I had sacrificed many moments over the years in trying to prove my worth. Like the tiger Mohini, I inhabited a self-made prison that stopped me from living fully. Tara Brach self roots years Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is. Tara Brach our-lives radical acceptance In any moment, no matter how lost we feel, we can take refuge in presence and love. We need only pause, breathe, and open to the experience of aliveness within us. In that wakeful openness, we come home to the peace and freedom of our natural awareness. Tara Brach and-love home needs The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight of freeze response. Tara Brach relax safe messages The way to develop the habit of savoring is to pause when something is beautiful and good and catches our attention - the sound of rain, the look of the night sky - the glow in a child's eyes, or when we witness some kindness. Pause... then totally immerse in the experience of savoring it. Tara Brach kindness beautiful children Feelings and stories of unworthiness and shame are perhaps the most binding element in the trance of fear. When we believe something is wrong with us, we are convinced we are in danger. Our shame fuels ongoing fear, and our fear fuels more shame. The very fact that we feel fear seems to prove that we are broken or incapable. When we are trapped in trance, being fearful and bad seem to define who we are. The anxiety in our body, the stories, the ways we make excuses, withdraw or lash out—these become to us the self that is most real. Tara Brach real self believe Where desire ends up causing suffering is when it fixates. Tara Brach ends suffering desire When we open to love, we become love. Tara Brach To me, bringing mindfulness-bas ed practices to students, teachers and parents is some of the most important work we can be doing. If we can help the next generation become more self-aware, empathetic and emotionally resilient, they will bring their wisdom to healing the earth and creating a more peaceful world. Tara Brach creating healing teacher What would it be like if, right in the midst of this busyness, we were to consciously take our hands off the controls? What if we were to intentionally stop our mental computations and our rushing around and, for a minute or two, simply pause and notice our inner experience? Tara Brach rushing two hands Even going through the motions is a way of establishing a new relationship with our inner life that is caring and tender, versus one that is judging, distancing or ignoring. This is the beginning of being capable of intimacy with others. Tara Brach new-relationship caring judging In bullfighting there is an interesting parallel to the pause as a place of refuge and renewal. It is believed that in the midst of a fight, a bull can find his own particular area of safety in the arena. There he can reclaim his strength and power. This place and inner state are called his querencia. As long as the bull remains enraged and reactive, the matador is in charge. Yet when he finds his querencia, he gathers his strength and loses his fear. From the matador's perspective, at this point the bull is truly dangerous, for he has tapped into his power. Tara Brach safety fighting long Observing desire without acting on it enlarges our freedom to choose how we live. Tara Brach radical-acceptance acting desire Longing, felt fully, carries us to belonging. Tara Brach longing inspirational relationship People don't behave in angry ways unless they are feeling stressed and conflicted too. Tara Brach stressed feelings people Self-judgment continues to arise - it's a strong habit - but the fact that I made a conscious commitment to recognize it has helped me stop feeding the story of being unworthy. Tara Brach strong self commitment Relaxation is the doorway to both wisdom and compassion. Tara Brach compassion doorways relaxation As we free ourselves from the suffering of 'something is wrong with me, 'we trust and express the fullness of who we are.' Tara Brach fullness who-we-are suffering The trance of unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach. The path to "the sweetness of belonging," is acceptance - acceptance of ourselves and acceptance of others without judgment. Tara Brach judgment acceptance path I think it's possible to have experiences of love without attachment, but I think part of our conditioning is to grasp at times, especially when there are unmet needs. It's part of our nervous system to hold on to where we think those needs will be met. Tara Brach attachment needs thinking
