Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are marga... by Jen Kirkman

Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool.

Jen Kirkman

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I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you'... by Jen Kirkman

I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.

happened

Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.

car real people

I'm really ambitious about is being a really good comic and doing it for the rest of my life and getting really big. Not really famous because I want fame or attention, just a little freedom. So, that's where I'm ambitious.

ambitious want attention

If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would do. That way, I could do less shows a year.

tv-shows way years

I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, "I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay."

comedian hands people

The whole notion that I don't appeal to the demographic - all my fans are young men. Someone asked me the other day, "So are your shows just full of 40-year-old single women?" I'm like, "I would be rich if that were true."

fans men years

I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and make more people. What ever happened to marrying for love— or to get on your partner’s health insurance policy, or for presents? No one was going to buy two people in their thirties a four-slice toaster if we just continued to live in sin.

two people ideas

At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.

clubs comedy firsts

I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check an... by Jen Kirkman

I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.

updates news six

If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I wo... by Jen Kirkman

If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do.

if-i-could crazy ifs

I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.

favorites-things my-favorite thinking

I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I was an idiot trying to push this guy to get married when I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

divorce guy husband

I try to minimize the noise, and I don't use Facebook except for my fan page, and I don't look at anything. It's getting a lot easier.

fans trying looks

Not that that's my goal, but when you're very wealthy and very famous, you can have a lot more decisions in what you do. You have a lot more opportunity. You can maybe even not work for a few years. It puts you in a great position to make some decisions. You're not always taking every job that comes and that kind of thing.

opportunity jobs years

I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.

issues stupid names

I think people with anxiety do different things during different years, and for me, I waded through my anxiety during the last two years with men, and flirting, and dating, and this thing and that thing, and so that's going to stop, and that has stopped.

people years thinking

I don't have that addictive, "What's going on?" feeling anymore,... by Jen Kirkman

I don't have that addictive, "What's going on?" feeling anymore, thank god.

thank-god feelings

I have some pretty wonderful friendships, so that's been really good for me. In the past year, I've really worked on that. I think when I was married, I let my friendships go. I think people thought, "Oh, because she's married now, she's so happy all the time." But I really was just isolated in my house.

past years thinking

I have no interest in saying "This is who I am! This is what I'm... by Jen Kirkman

I have no interest in saying "This is who I am! This is what I'm like!"

interest who-i-am

I don't know if I don't believe in monogamy. I think I do believe in it depending on the person or situation or something.

monogamy believe thinking