Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens? Mark Twain dread happens men Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly. Mark Twain feels mean people They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments. Mark Twain live-by bread compliment As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards. Mark Twain backwards europe ideas When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented. Mark Twain boon southern angel We must look for our own blame to find our own personality. Mark Twain blame personality looks Water is an individual, an animal, and is alive, remove the hydrogen and it is an animal and is alive; the remaining oxygen is also an individual, an animal, and is alive. Recapitulation: the two individuals combined, constitute a third individual-and yet each continues to be an individual....here was mute Nature explaining the sublime mystery of the Trinity so luminously that even the commonest understanding could comprehend it, whereas many a trained master of words had labored to do it with speech and failed. Mark Twain oxygen animal two Not all the Greek runners in the original Olympics were totally naked. Some wore shoes. Mark Twain naked shoes greek To avoid being drawn into error, keep a firm grip on the truth. Mark Twain firm errors To avoid lying, do nothing that needs covering. Mark Twain covering lying needs Today's burdens can strengthen you for tomorrow. Mark Twain burden tomorrow today Tough times teach trust. Mark Twain teach tough-times tough There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind. Mark Twain widows body praying Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away. Mark Twain long-ago long years There is no accounting for human beings. Mark Twain accounting human-beings humans No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself. Mark Twain privacy heart men The person who has no opinion will seldom be wrong. Mark Twain opinion persons Cooper's art has some defects. In one place in 'Deerslayer,' and in the restricted space of two-thirds of a page, Cooper has scored 114 offences against literary art out of a possible 115. It breaks the record. Mark Twain space two art Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away. Mark Twain remains has-beens taken I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography. Mark Twain autobiography found way
