Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries. Colin Mochrie More Quotes by Colin Mochrie More Quotes From Colin Mochrie We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out. Colin Mochrie deep-withindinosaurstrying Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, well, if it was anyone else we may have gotten away from it, but, unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars. Colin Mochrie policeflowerorder Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane. Colin Mochrie reindeerspainred Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine! Colin Mochrie ninebelievepeople Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women. Colin Mochrie marriedwifehusband For as long as I can remember, I've had memories. Colin Mochrie remembermemorieslong He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin. Colin Mochrie eyemothermean Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises. Colin Mochrie dolphinstwoyears If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung? Colin Mochrie retiringifsnames Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang. Colin Mochrie dyslexicwellsreturn The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge. Colin Mochrie revengesaidpeople Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage. Colin Mochrie jurygentlemansheep We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second. Colin Mochrie documentariesanorexicselephants Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me Colin Mochrie embargobackwardsknows You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school. Colin Mochrie typosbandschool Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy. Colin Mochrie crazypeoplethinking Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod? Colin Mochrie fish-tanksdyingrivers After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall. Colin Mochrie disappointingsummerfall My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever. Colin Mochrie datingaccomplishmentskills Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had. Colin Mochrie madreallong
