Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

Jeremy Clarkson

Categorized in : Editing Racing Car

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Jeremy Clarkson

motor-racing car love

It’s what non-car people don’t get. They see all cars as just a ton and a half, two tons of wires, glass, metal, and rubber, and that’s all they see. People like you or I know we have an unshakable belief that cars are living entities… You can develop a relationship with a car and that’s what non-car people don’t get… When something has foibles and won’t handle properly, that gives it a particularly human quality because it makes mistakes, and that’s how you can build a relationship with a car that other people won’t get.

Jeremy Clarkson

glasses mistake two

You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.

Jeremy Clarkson

car special thinking

Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.

Jeremy Clarkson

multi-tasking ability screws

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”

Jeremy Clarkson

sexually-transmitted-diseases syphilis people

Speed focuses the mind. It cuts through the fog of drab everyday living and keeps us on our toes. Speed works. Speed saves lives. Speed is good. And we should have more of it, not less.

Jeremy Clarkson

fog cutting should-have

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Jeremy Clarkson

cool-cars top-gear faster

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Jeremy Clarkson

top-gear poor people

Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.

Jeremy Clarkson

yawning canada doe

Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.

Jeremy Clarkson

being-smart smarter looks

Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?

Jeremy Clarkson

iron ice ideas

I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t

Jeremy Clarkson

car mirrors reading

I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing.

Jeremy Clarkson

realising awful cost

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Jeremy Clarkson

bmw leaving house

I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.

Jeremy Clarkson

alfa-romeo

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

Jeremy Clarkson

jogging oil car

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler

Jeremy Clarkson

persons looks

Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

Jeremy Clarkson

fear education men

All this health and safety talk is just killing me.

Jeremy Clarkson

safety healthy killing

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.

Jeremy Clarkson

ebola party people