remember this: no matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question he will persist in answering you in French. Fran Lebowitz More Quotes by Fran Lebowitz More Quotes From Fran Lebowitz It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame. Fran Lebowitz crafts doe art The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life. Fran Lebowitz things-you-love rest-of-your-life addiction I am not personally a parent. But I do have two godchildren and am expecting a third. I am naturally concerned for their future. If I ruled the world you could bet your boots that none of them would ever set their eyes on any such contraptions as digital clocks and pocket calculators. But alas, I do not rule the world and that, I am afraid, is the story of my life - always a godmother, never a God. Fran Lebowitz parent eye two Your responsibility as a parent is never great as the case is with the mother. Fran Lebowitz parent responsibility mother Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be. Fran Lebowitz pedantic said television Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. Fran Lebowitz best-love funny-love romantic-love To me the biggest waste of time is commuting. First, there is no place that is less than a two-hour commute from New York. You can be half a mile outside of the city limits; you're two hours away by car. I don't care how close they tell you it is. "Oh, it's only thirty miles." Thirty miles? At 8:30 in the morning, thirty miles outside New York, you might as well be starting out in Omaha. Fran Lebowitz cities new-york morning Women who insist upon having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type Fran Lebowitz equality strong men New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from. Fran Lebowitz cities new-york people I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response. Fran Lebowitz wit judgment thinking London: A place you go to get bronchitis. Fran Lebowitz places-you-go london cities Science has done absolutely nothing about noise. The worst design flaw in the human body is that you can't close your ears. The reason you can't close your ears is, if a lion was coming, you had to wake up. Today no lions are coming. Beeping trucks are coming. I read the other day that the guy who invented the beep when trucks go backward, he died. I thought: Of course - he dies, I have to listen to it. Fran Lebowitz wake-up design guy Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is; the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is. Fran Lebowitz wall silence house I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV. Fran Lebowitz tvs writing people Never judge a cover by its book. Fran Lebowitz judging book The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do. Fran Lebowitz grades reading firsts I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive. Fran Lebowitz being-in-love women love-is I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them. Fran Lebowitz age people years One [New York] eatery is a remodeled diner that looks like what Busby Berkeley would have done if only he hadn't had the money. Fran Lebowitz done new-york looks I have a real aversion to machines. I write with a pen. Then I read it to someone who writes it onto the computer. What are those computer letters made of anyway? Light? Too insubstantial. Paper, you can feel it. A pen. There's a connection. A pen goes exactly at your speed, whereas that machine jumps. And then, that machine is waiting for you, just humming "uh-huh, yes? Fran Lebowitz light real writing
