Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? If you think Bush had incentive to bomb Iraq before, imagine if Congress was over there. Jay Leno More Quotes by Jay Leno More Quotes From Jay Leno Mitt Romney is coming under fire because even though he is a multimillionaire, he only paid 15 percent in taxes. That's not a tax, that's barely a tip. Jay Leno percenttaxesfire I went to see that movie 'From Hell,' or as Osama bin Laden calls it - 'Roots.' Jay Leno osama-bin-ladenhellroots The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden's financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn't sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me. Jay Leno guysoundthinking Know what the Taliban leaders like to do for fun? Just sit around and get bombed. Jay Leno talibanleaderfun How many have seen that Osama bin Laden footage? Pretty scary. In fact, today, NBC ordered 13 more episodes. Jay Leno nbcscarytoday Bin Laden was once targeted by President Clinton. President Clinton wanted to kill him but couldn't get him. Of course not, we all know what kind of aim Clinton has. Jay Leno clintonkindpresident There are reports on the news tonight that members of the Taliban feel persecuted and fear their own safety. So now they know what it is like to feel like a woman in their country. Jay Leno newssafetycountry Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates. It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when he's arguing with three people at once, it's his wife, his ex-wife, and his mistress. Jay Leno cnnwifepeople U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits, screw up his statement and nickel and dime him to death with service charges. Jay Leno dimesscrew-upsgovernment Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run; now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference; if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference. Jay Leno differencestexasrunning The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't solve the problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt. Jay Leno leaderhurttoday More and more facts coming out about Osama bin Laden. You know, he never sleeps in the same place two nights in a row, just like Clinton. Jay Leno sleepnighttwo More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of 52 kids. Mother must be exhausted. This guy inherited $80 million at age 13 and has since expanded it to $300 million through construction, smart investments and gas and oil investments. This way, he can use the money in his war against capitalism. Jay Leno smartmotherwar I looked up the word POLITICS in the dictionary, and it's actually a combination of two words: poli, which means 'many,' and tics, which means 'bloodsuckers.' Jay Leno ticstwomean 65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women. Jay Leno incomecheatingpeople Howard Dean was endorsed by Al Gore. Now, if Dean could get Gray Davis to campaign for him, that would put him over the top. Jay Leno deanalscampaigns Presidential Democratic front-runner Howard Dean admitted to Chris Matthews on the 'Hardball' show that he got out of the draft because of a bad back. He had a curvature of the spine. Apparently it curved too far to the left. Jay Leno spinedeanpresidential Howard Dean is a politician, a medical doctor and a Democrat. So he has three reasons to tell women to take off their clothes now. Jay Leno clothesdoctorsthree Jesse Jackson was involved in a three-car crash this weekend. I understand that no one was hurt, but I understand that two of the women in the other cars are now pregnant. Jay Leno weekendhurttwo There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban, apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad. Jay Leno rhymingrumortrouble
