She [Marilyn Monroe] was good at being inarticulately abstracted for the same reason that midgets are good at being short. Clive James More Quotes by Clive James More Quotes From Clive James Freedom and diversity guard each other, and if a country could form the whole of one's character, Napoleon III and Victor Hugo would have been the same person... if national identity means anything, it means something that comes with you wherever you go, and stays with you no matter how long you stay away. Clive James charactermeancountry In the twelfth century the Basque fishermen of Biarritz used to hunt whales with deadly efficiency. When the whales sensibly moved away, the Basques chased them further and further, with the consequence that the fishermen of Biarritz discovered America before Columbus did. This is a matter for local pride but on a larger view it is not quite so stunning, since with the possible exception of the Swiss everybody discovered America before Columbus did. Clive James whalesprideviews A sense of humour is common sense dancing. Clive James common-sensedancingcommon On the correctly formed pubescent girl, a Speedo looked wonderful. When it was wet, it was an incitement to riot. Clive James incitementgirlwonderful Visitors who come from the Soviet Union and tell you how marvelous it is to be able to look at public buildings without advertisements stuck all over them are just telling you that they can't decipher the cyrillic alphabet. Clive James unionsablelooks "Nationwide" featured an amazing collection of apprentice impersonators. From all over Britain, schoolchildren materialised via local studios to give us their imitations of the mighty. There were at least three uncannily accurate Margaret Thatchers, their eyelids fatigued with condescension and their voices swooping and whining like dive-bombers. Clive James voicegivingamerica A traditional fixture at Wimbledon is the way the BBC TV commentary box fills up with British players eliminated in the early rounds. Clive James tenniswimbledonplayer It is a good rule in life to be wary of the company of people who think of themselves in the third person, no matter how well justified they might seem to be in doing so. Clive James mightpeoplethinking The streets, at least in this part of town, seemed impossibly clean in comparison to London. The public telephones were unvandalised. For a London telephone booth to look like that it would have to be guarded around the clock by the SAS. Clive James americalooksworld In between the Queen and the First Lady, Nancy Reagan, sat Tony Richardson, looking very calm. Later on it emerged that this was because, having not been apprised of the placement until he was about to sit down, he had died of fright. To have expired was to be fortunate. Clive James queensamericaworld The Benson and Hedges Cup was won by McEnroe ... he was as charming as always, which means that he was as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread. Clive James tennisbreadmean Roscoe Tanner seems to have found a way of making his service go even faster, so that the ball is now quite invisible, like Stealth, the American supersonic bomber which nobody has ever seen. Clive James bomberstennisballs In the movies first impressions are everything. Or, to put it less drastically, in the movies there are no later impressions without a first impression, because you will have stopped watching. Sometimes a critic persuades you to give an unpromising-looking movie a chance, but the movie had better convey the impression pretty quickly that the critic might be right. Clive James first-impressionmightgiving Jimmy Connors likes the ball to come at him in a straight line, so that he can hit it back in another straight line. When it comes to him in a curve, he uses up half of his energy straightening it up again. Clive James curvestennisenergy Snooker is just chess with balls. Clive James snookerballschess The Canadian version of Julius Caesar's memoirs? I came, I saw, I coped. Clive James juliusmemoirsaws Humphrey Searle writes music that sounds like the theme from 'Star Wars' played backwards through a washing machine. Clive James starswritingwar The entrée wasn't tender enough to be a paving stone and the gravy couldn't have been primordial soup because morphogenesis was already taking place. Clive James classicsoupstones It is almost better to be an impulse shirt-buyer than an impulse shoe-buyer. I have worn shirts that made people think I was a retired Mafia hit-man or a Yugoslavian sports convener from Split, but I have worn shoes that made people think I was insane. Clive James sportsmenthinking His pear-shaped head, I could now see, was situated on top of a pear-shaped body, which his black gown caused to resemble a piece of fruit going to a funeral. Clive James fruitfuneralblack
