She turned me into a newt. ... But I got better. Graham Chapman More Quotes by Graham Chapman More Quotes From Graham Chapman Nudge, nudge. Snap, snap. Grin, grin. Wink, wink, say no more? Could be, could be taken on holiday. Could be yes - swimming costumes. Know what I mean. Candid photography. Know what I mean, nudge nudge. Graham Chapman winking nudge-nudge mean A murderer is only an extroverted suicide. Graham Chapman murderer suicide I fart in your general direction. Graham Chapman fart comedy I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service. Graham Chapman qualified cat John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster. Graham Chapman speech kind mistake No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again. Graham Chapman surprise weapons two I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Graham Chapman mother animal father An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition... A contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says." No, it's not. Graham Chapman argument contradiction connected One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord. Graham Chapman three lord two Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!! Graham Chapman chairs There is no cannibalism in the British Navy, absolutely none. And when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than I personally admit. Graham Chapman british-navy cannibalism mean I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam! Graham Chapman monty spam Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your arm's off!" "No it isn't." "Then what's that?" "Oh come on, pansy! Graham Chapman pansies scratches arms In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again. Graham Chapman warfare lasts special When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime. Graham Chapman deaf used bird We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified. Graham Chapman justified feels Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been impressed by some wonderful old people. Graham Chapman doe worry people Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable. Graham Chapman inevitable accepting people Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Graham Chapman spanish-inquisition holy-grail peace Camelot is a silly place. Graham Chapman camelot silly