Society cannot exist without etiquette ... It never has, and until our own century, everybody knew that. Judith Martin More Quotes by Judith Martin More Quotes From Judith Martin Greece is a good place for rebirths. Judith Martin good-place greece rebirth The simple idea that everyone needs a reasonable amount of challenging work in his or her life, and also a personal life, complete with noncompetitive leisure, has never really taken hold. Judith Martin taken simple inspirational . . . women were brought up to have only one set of manners. A woman was either a lady or she wasn't, and we all know what the latter meant. Not even momentary lapses were allowed; there is no female equivalent of the boys-will-be-boys concept. Judith Martin lapses female boys If you put together all the ingredients that naturally attract children - sex, violence, revenge, spectacle and vigorous noise - what you have is grand opera. Judith Martin revenge children sex It is not rude to turn off your telephone by switching it on to an answering machine, which is cheaper and less disruptive than ripping it out of the wall. Those who are offended because they cannot always get through when they seek, at their own convenience, to barge in on people are suffering from a rude expectation. Judith Martin wall expectations people The idea that people can behave naturally, without resorting to an artificial code tacitly agreed upon by their society, is as silly as the idea that they can communicate by a spoken language without commonly accepted semantic and grammatical rules. Judith Martin silly people ideas Part of the skill of saying no is to shut up afterward and not babble on, offering material for an argument. Judith Martin women skills offering I make a distinction between manners and etiquette - manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures. Judith Martin different principles culture Precision marching is less important for the bridal party than maintaining the proper facial expresssions: The bridegroom must look awed; the bridesmaids, happy and excited; the father of the bride, proud; and the bride, demure. If the bridegroom feels doubtful, the bridesmaids, sulky, the father, worried, and the bride, blasé, nobody wants to know. Judith Martin party important father Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress. Judith Martin honesty insulting mean When a society abandons its ideals just because most people can't live up to them, behavior gets very ugly indeed. Judith Martin ugly behavior people Life is full of wonderful passions that come and go over the years, but the only one that will never let you down is reading. Judith Martin passion reading years Manners require showing consideration of all human beings, not just the ones to whom one is close. Judith Martin consideration humans manners I have always believed that the key to a happy marriage was the ability to say with a straight face, 'Why, I don't know what you're worrying about. I thought you were very funny last night and I'm sure everybody else did, too. Judith Martin keys worry night Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in the world still need uninterrupted time to attend to their lives and should not be outwitted if they have made it obvious that they are not always available upon summons. Judith Martin machines people needs You don't want to look too chic at a Washington party or people will think you don't have a job worth losing. Judith Martin party jobs thinking Etiquette is about all of human social behavior. Behavior is regulated by law when etiquette breaks down or when the stakes are high - violations of life, limb, property and so on. Barring that, etiquette is a little social contract we make that we will restrain some of our more provocative impulses in return for living more or less harmoniously in a community. Judith Martin social-behavior community law A lot of men got upset at the feminist movement because they had all the toys and we wanted some. Judith Martin upset feminist men Smart people duck when they hear the dread announcement 'I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. Judith Martin smart ducks honesty You think death is any better an excuse for desertion than any other? Judith Martin desertion excuse thinking
