Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant c... by Jen Kirkman

Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant comment can make me go, "Oh god."

Jen Kirkman

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Categorized in : Looks Ignorant Troll

By the time I started doing stand-up, the club scene had died. by Jen Kirkman

By the time I started doing stand-up, the club scene had died.

club doing scene time

I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night. I try to make humor out of that situation.

home love night life

I'm not a big fan of young people. by Jen Kirkman

I'm not a big fan of young people.

big-fan big young people

Sitcoms are what got me excited about show business. by Jen Kirkman

Sitcoms are what got me excited about show business.

show me excited business

The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have kids. I do not want to raise a child.

feel child want people

A lot of relationships have ended for me in my 20s, because I knew that eventually those people would wanna settle down and have kids.

relationships down me people

Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom's! And we have enough money to write checks to organizations that help kids get vaccinations, vitamins, and educations yet have plenty of free time to advise your daughter that one day she will regret piercing her lip.

day women daughter time

I rarely have out-of-town visitors because you have to do things... by Jen Kirkman

I rarely have out-of-town visitors because you have to do things like take them around L.A.

because things like you

I'd love to be a hit in Germany. I'm working on trying to get a gig as David Hasselhoff's opening act.

act opening trying love

Don't overpack your carry-on. You're never going to read that sec... by Jen Kirkman

Don't overpack your carry-on. You're never going to read that second book or that fourth magazine.

your never you book

Use your passport for domestic trips, so that way you don't risk... by Jen Kirkman

Use your passport for domestic trips, so that way you don't risk losing your license.

your you losing way

There are a lot of things I might be good at, such as competitive figure skating, window washing from ten stories up, and being an open heart surgeon. I might also make an excellent Kamikaze pilot - except for the fact that I don't want to learn how to fly and have no interest in taking my own life on behalf of Japan.

fly good heart life

I have memories of my grandfather Kirkman making mashed potatoes that were so good because they tasted like a bowl of butter. I love my mom's brownies. My favorite thing about both of those recipes is that someone else made them for me.

good me love memories