Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life. Jon Stewart More Quotes by Jon Stewart More Quotes From Jon Stewart At first the difference will be in whatever atmosphere I bring into it. It's not going to be like, 'I really want to do The Daily Show and I'd love to turn it into an abstract musical.' I like the format and the chance to satirize the news. Jon Stewart atmospheredifferencesmusical If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would make very pleasant children. Jon Stewart teamchildrenthinking They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking. Jon Stewart ballssoccerthinking The election moment is merely the American public saying, "We'd rather you be President than that guy." That's it. Jon Stewart electionguypresident We have standards. Anybody with the kind of journalism experience and professionalism that you have displayed over these years can not work for my program. Jon Stewart professionalismjournalismyears In 1982 I was playing soccer at William and Mary, and a kid from Randolph-Macon called me a kike. I ran after him. 'I'm not a... well, yes I am. Jon Stewart marysoccerkids Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool? Jon Stewart jazzmusicianpeople The goals for me have changed somewhat. There's a bit of seduction to the idea of being on network, but it got to the point where that wasn't important. What's important is doing something worthwhile. Which is why I've always avoided being on a sitcom. Yeah, it's high-profile and it's on a network, but you know what? You could be on Suddenly Stewart. Jon Stewart importantgoalideas The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco. Jon Stewart mexicanconfusedcountry The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan. Jon Stewart rapturerepublicanplans Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote. Jon Stewart guysmokingwant I would think black people think everything is about race. They are the ones who are on the outside of the game. They are the ones who face it every day. Jon Stewart racegamesthinking There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship. Jon Stewart sparksshipsimagination They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven? Jon Stewart christianbelievethinking I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency. Jon Stewart mediapoliticalresponsibility I focus on the task and try and do it as best we can. And we're constantly evolving it, because it's my way of trying to make sense of all these ambivalent feelings I have. Jon Stewart focusfeelingstrying Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves. Jon Stewart patrioticnamestrying I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once. Jon Stewart voicegivingmen I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that. Jon Stewart linestryingpeople In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole. Jon Stewart iraqmilitaryfeet
