Speak to any editor and ask them what they turned down, and they'll have long lists of books. Jasper Fforde More Quotes by Jasper Fforde More Quotes From Jasper Fforde Growth purely for its own sake is the philosophy of cancer. Jasper Fforde cancergrowthphilosophy Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere. Jasper Fforde sharefunfiction I have the death sentence in seven genres. Jasper Fforde death-sentencegenreseven To each our own Hamlet. Jasper Fforde If it's a chimera alert, we just follows the screams. Jasper Fforde chimerascreamifs Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas. Jasper Fforde quotacarepersonality There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time! Jasper Fforde denmarkrottenpayback History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times. Jasper Fforde eightwallcolor Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way. Jasper Fforde satwallway Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score. Jasper Fforde namesgamesfather He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus. Jasper Fforde cojoneszeusrebel How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark." "A whale isn't a fish, Thursday." "A whale shark is--sort of." "All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish." "A crayfish isn't a fish." "A starfish, then." "Still not a fish." "This is a very odd conversation, Thursday. Jasper Fforde thursdaywhalessharks Reality TV was to me the worst form of entertainment--the modern equivalent of paying sixpence to watch lunatics howling at the wall down at the local madhouse. Jasper Fforde wallwatchesreality The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops. Jasper Fforde citizensgovernmentmoving I was on HPD--Heathcliff Protection Duty--in Wuthering Heights for two years, and believe me, the ProCaths tried everything. I personally saved him from assassination eight times. Jasper Fforde eightbelieveyears I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts! Jasper Fforde hatecharacterpeople I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English. Jasper Fforde assumingacademicbook Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world. Jasper Fforde poetrylightmind Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature. Jasper Fforde piecesliteraturechildren Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence. Jasper Fforde majestysentencesverbs
