Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds. Fran Lebowitz More Quotes by Fran Lebowitz More Quotes From Fran Lebowitz The theater itself is so archaic and old fashioned, that it doesn't really matter to me whether it's on Avenue D or at the Helen Hayes Theater. What's the difference? It's still a very nostalgic form. Also, it means you're knowingly walking into a room where there's actors. I feel it's very embarrassing. Because, you know, they're right there. You always think like, they can see you, and I think it's mortifying, frankly, and I hate to sit near the front, where you feel they actually might see you. It's too ... it's too live. Fran Lebowitz hate mean thinking My other hobby, because I just love any job with a gavel, is auctioneer. And I so often have presided over charity auctions in New York that many years ago Sotheby's sent me my own gavel. Now, the Sotheby's gavel is infinitely more elegant--it came in a little velvet bag, with "Sotheby's" inscribed in gold. It hangs in my library. I feel that everyone has occasion to use a gavel at various times everyday, they just don't think of it. Fran Lebowitz new-york jobs thinking There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything. Fran Lebowitz being-old I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself. Fran Lebowitz hurt writing blood A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer. Fran Lebowitz dog men thinking I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways. Fran Lebowitz different writing looks There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work. Fran Lebowitz making-love together advice The main symptom of falling in love is that you lose your intellectual prowess. Fran Lebowitz falling-in-love love-is sex [On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell. Fran Lebowitz parenthood work-out mind [On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you. Fran Lebowitz important reading mother [On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties. Fran Lebowitz admire party That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights. Fran Lebowitz numbers night civilization [Children are] like talking animals. Their consciousness is so different from ours that they constitute a different species. They don't have to be particularly interesting children; just the fact that they are children is sufficient. They don't know what anything is, so they have to make it up. No matter how dull they are, they still have to figure things out for themselves. Fran Lebowitz animal talking children A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A "community" is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic. Fran Lebowitz doctors self people We are all born with a rut radar. Mine is finely wired, a little oversensitive maybe. Perhaps just a bit hyperactive. Twenty steady boyfriends before turning 16, a new best friend 12 times a year, switched college majors every time I met someone who seemed exactly like the sort of person I really, really wanted to be. I'm not fickle. I'm just never there yet. Fran Lebowitz twenties college years If people had gavels, there would be no wars. If every person in the world had a gavel and could bang it and get everyone's attention right away and make their displeasure known, I believe the level of actual violence in the world would just disappear to practically nothing. Fran Lebowitz war believe people I happen to love a good run almost as much as sex. Like sex, there are often times I don't think I'm interested until I'm into it. Unlike sex, I do have to get out of bed and into the elements. I hate leaving bed. Fran Lebowitz hate running sex [Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail. Fran Lebowitz affair jail friendship When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody. Fran Lebowitz writing mean book Nothing succeeds like address. Fran Lebowitz addresses dignity succeed
![[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, t... by Fran Lebowitz](https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-medium-quote-f1239f453754df04b39bda5c608c3ce5.jpg)
![[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your... by Fran Lebowitz](https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-medium-quote-9e3f68973affac262644059f11b01ff6.jpg)
![[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I do... by Fran Lebowitz](https://whatsmyquote.com/images/quote-medium-quote-7dc0c61ad7d86ae2be6eeb6b03a77792.jpg)
