St.Patrick's Day is named for St. Patrick, the first guy to feed Guinness to a snake. Conan O'Brien More Quotes by Conan O'Brien More Quotes From Conan O'Brien I'm shocked to find out we still sell something people want. Conan O'Brien stills want people CNN’s Rick Sanchez said the Jews run CNN. Ah, so that’s who we blame for Rick Sanchez. Conan O'Brien cnn blame running Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, 'That locks down the Hispanic vote.' Conan O'Brien ohio yesterday running Jeb Bush welcomed his fourth grandchild. The new Bush grandchild is happy, healthy, and will be running for president in 2048. Conan O'Brien grandchildren healthy running Hillary Clinton is now driving from New York to Iowa. It's been called the least-exciting spring break trip in history. Conan O'Brien iowa new-york spring In an interview, Hillary Clinton said she likes nearly every flavor of ice cream. When he heard this, Chris Christie said 'Hey, she stole my speech.' Conan O'Brien flavor ice-cream hey Al Gore announced he is finishing up a new book about global warming and the environment. Yeah, the first chapter talks about how you shouldn't chop down trees to make a book that no one will read. Conan O'Brien finishing tree book Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result, all the ponies in Iowa have gone into hiding. Conan O'Brien riding ponies iowa Jeb Bush cheated on his diet and had a fried Snickers bar, pork on a stick, and a beer. Jeb Bush said he ate it so at least he could see some of his numbers go up. Conan O'Brien pork beer numbers President Obama , I guess, is starting to confess to some of his anxieties. In a recent interview, President Obama said, 'I miss being anonymous.' He said, 'In the old days, I could blend in with all the other Hawaiian Barack Hussein Obamas.' Conan O'Brien anxiety president missing Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous. Conan O'Brien eye hair blue The Senate has sent President Obama a spending bill that gives the government enough money to keep going for two weeks. Our Congress has the financial planning skills of a college sophomore. Conan O'Brien government skills college Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered a role in a sequel to 'The Terminator.' In this one he travels back in time and kills the person who suggested he run for governor. Conan O'Brien schwarzenegger roles running In a new interview, Newt Gingrich says he cheated on two of his wives because he was too consumed with love for his country. Yeah, apparently he misunderstood the phrase, 'Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.' Conan O'Brien wife two country Today Donald Trump reaffirmed his stance against gay marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and his much younger third wife. Conan O'Brien gay wife guy Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown. Conan O'Brien ocean feet mean Don't be cynical; it leads nowhere. If you work hard, and are kind, amazing things will happen to you. Conan O'Brien cynical hard-work kind Dropkick Murphys, everybody! That's a band! Conan O'Brien band Donald Trump refuses to give details about his policy plans. Trump apologized by saying, 'When I announced I was running for president, I had no idea people would take me seriously.' Conan O'Brien running people ideas Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq Conan O'Brien iraq white house
