Statistically, you don't have much chance of becoming president if you're not tall and fairly handsome or at least conventional-looking. Ned Beauman More Quotes by Ned Beauman More Quotes From Ned Beauman You couldn’t truly love anything if you didn’t hate at least something. Indeed, perhaps you couldn’t truly love anything if you didn’t hate almost everything. Ned Beauman hate ifs Until I was 16, I read nothing but science fiction. I loved William Gibson and I still do. But my favourite book when I was growing up, for a long time, was 'Snow Crash' by Neal Stephenson, which I must have read about a dozen times when I was a teenager. Ned Beauman teenager growing-up book There's never a bad time to put earplugs in. They're the kind of thing you can reject as a bit lame, but somebody told me to do start wearing earplugs and it turned out to be great advice. Ned Beauman lame kind advice The reason I start a novel is because there's something that excites me and I want to explore it. Ned Beauman novel reason Plot is tremendously important to me: I can't stand books where nothing happens, and I can't imagine ever writing a novel without at least one murder. Ned Beauman important writing book I'm reasonably good at talking onstage, but actually holding court in a pub is all to do with power dynamics which I don't think has anything to do with fiction. Ned Beauman talking fiction thinking I was always determined that one way or another I would force a book on the world, even if I had to resort to writing one about a tabby cat who solves mysteries. Ned Beauman cat writing book I guess the main thing I definitely don't enjoy is having a job which involves selling things. You become an author because you think you're good at writing. Not because you love to promote yourself. I enjoy some of it and I've had a really fun few years so basically I have nothing to complain about. But what I don't like is the thought that it's going to go on for the rest of my life. Ned Beauman writing fun thinking I always save a huge book for a flight, because then you read it at both airports and on the plane and by the time you get home you're a quarter of the way through and it doesn't feel so unmanageable any more. Ned Beauman airports home book The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that isn't funny on some level is quite hard. Ned Beauman levels writing littles I'm very finicky about when I'm in the right mood to write. So most days, I find some excuse not to do anything. Ned Beauman mood excuse writing There are probably a couple of things I'd never write about until everyone I know is dead. And then there's other stuff which nobody would want to read a book about anyway. Ned Beauman couple writing book I would love to learn how to air kiss non-awkwardly. Ned Beauman kissing air I started my first novel when I was 10, and have produced thousands of pages of juvenilia since. Ned Beauman pages novel firsts I read 'The Good Soldier' by Ford Madox Ford again every so often. Ned Beauman good-soldiers soldier Most romances aren't swept aside by big historical events. Most romances in the history of the world fall apart because of other, smaller happenings. History can sometimes be in the background, the thing which instead of rupturing your life merely irritates you by pressing itself now and then into the foreground. Ned Beauman romance historical fall I don't have a day job, so I read any time of day. Ned Beauman day-jobs time-of-day jobs So intense was his sexual frustration that it had begun to feel like a life-threatening illness: testicular gout, libidinal gangrene. Ned Beauman threatening frustration gout If I want to feel as if I'm being sucked down a fathomless gloomy tunnel for hours and hours then I have a complete set of Schopenhauer at home. Ned Beauman tunnels want home It seems to me that the basic plot of all historical novels is a romance swept aside by history. Ned Beauman romance novel historical
