Stem cells are like toenail clippings with a better career plan. Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer. Scott Adams skillssuicidedeath Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor. Scott Adams serial-killersuicidedeath You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead nor alive until we dig him up and open the casket. If he's alive, he might want his brain back, which I understand is in a Ziplock bag in some guy's freezer. And this is a perfect example of why examples always distract from the main point. Scott Adams suicideperfectdeath He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest. Scott Adams drinkingbeerbaby You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change. Scott Adams disappearsuicidedeath The core belief that drives terrorism is the notion of a "holy place," along with the idea that some people belong there and other people don't. That's why the only solution to terrorism is for religious scholars to hold a global summit to agree on the definition of "holy place." Once they agree on a definition, it will be easier to mock it into submission. Scott Adams religiouspeopleideas When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable. Scott Adams glovesnicepeople You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. Scott Adams dilbertunderestimatestupid I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable. Scott Adams vacationnot-happythree In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him. Scott Adams airplanedogjobs I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing. Scott Adams working-ithatedshould I'm primarily just an investor. Scott Adams investors The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay. Scott Adams bossdiversitywant I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.' Scott Adams restaurantsdrawssometimes I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information. Scott Adams magazinesinformationkind I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time. Scott Adams shakesnameshands For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays. Scott Adams holidayweekendcareers God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon. Scott Adams skullslovefall Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's. Scott Adams vocabularylimitsbrain If you work in the city long enough, it begins to deal with you on a personal level. Streets reveal their moods. Sometimes the signal light loves you. Sometimes they fight you. When you're hunting for a new building, you hope the city is on your side. You have to use a little bit of thinking--you might call it the process of elimination--and you need a little bit of instinct, but not too much of either. If you think too hard, you overshoot your target and end up at the Pier or the Tenderloin. If you relax and let the city help, the destination does all the work for you. Scott Adams fightinglove-youthinking
