Tearing children away from their parents is so evil, it's the inciting incident in almost every movie we've ever cared about. Samantha Bee More Quotes by Samantha Bee More Quotes From Samantha Bee Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people. Samantha Bee gamblingpeopleyears Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state. Samantha Bee christmasreligiouschristian Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one. Samantha Bee paindisappointmentsleep Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable! Samantha Bee tamponshalfsex I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments. Samantha Bee sittinglive-in-the-momentpeople There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy. Samantha Bee comedyfallthinking I continue to be very shy. I think a lot of actors and performers are really weird, shy people working it out onstage. I don't know why that is. Samantha Bee shypeoplethinking There's always going to be someone who hates you. There's always going to be people who love you. It's a risk in either direction. Samantha Bee hatelove-youpeople I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage. Samantha Bee nextrudewife The people I really feel sorry for are all the writers out there who wrote these outrageous comedic romps about a grossly unqualified person who goes on to become a Vice Presidential candidate in a hotly contested presidential race. With hilarious results. They must be so bummed. Samantha Bee presidentialsorrypeople As a viewer myself, I tend to gravitate toward projects that have a really strong voice of a strong creator. Samantha Bee projectsvoicestrong We definitely sometimes get stuff that's different that we were expecting. I mean, that's part of the joy and the terror of interviewing real, live people. Sometimes they come along the journey with you, and most of the time they don't. Samantha Bee realjourneymean The worst thing you can do to a dictator is laugh at him. Samantha Bee dictatorworstlaughing You don't want to be glib; you want to treat every story respectfully. Samantha Bee treatsstorieswant It's fun to be surrounded by people that you love. Samantha Bee funpeople Speaking for myself, I try to go out there on the stage and make jokes with people, so I'm not really thinking about the impact anything I have. If it does resonate with people, that's really great. Samantha Bee tryingpeoplethinking I grew up an only child, so I was so much more adult. My eldest daughter is 10, and I was so much more of an adult than she is. She just doesn't care for the real world. She's not interested. Samantha Bee daughterrealchildren A lot of comedy is really DIY. You're kind of doing it yourself. Samantha Bee diycomedykind If it wasn't for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn't really have much of a show. Samantha Bee showsgoes-onworld You have to be willing to ask questions that almost no one else would ask. Samantha Bee willingasks
