That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it. Dane Cook More Quotes by Dane Cook More Quotes From Dane Cook Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru? Dane Cook trying My brain is very fantastical. If I ever actually recorded myself, I could probably win a Grammy for sex talk. Being on the road while in relationships, you need to learn to pleasure one another. Dane Cook winning brain sex Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got. Dane Cook losing-everything elements ego Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ. Dane Cook snacks lines looks I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show. Dane Cook funny-things writing night Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT. Dane Cook comedian giants girlfriend There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person. Dane Cook cutting girl school The key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off. Dane Cook keys knowing art Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there. Dane Cook bars people needs Because of what I experienced when I was a kid, I want kids to have that kind of an epiphany moment, that little jolt, that little spark that they see when Dusty ['Planes'] flies higher than he has before. That scene where he flies straight up, and he's starting to get dizzy, and then finally it comes together. We forget as adults. We get jaded and we think that's kids' stuff, but for a kid who doesn't know about anything technical or how a movie is made, they're just going to see this and hear this beautiful score and see this dynamic, fantastical thing happening in front of them. Dane Cook beautiful kids thinking If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, "I want to try." It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it. Dane Cook voice kids thinking You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit. Dane Cook sense-of-humor routine strong Onstage, it's all just a heightened and more elaborate version of me. When you're standing onstage, your adrenaline is going, your enthusiasm is at full tilt, and the excitement helps elevate you're attitude. I've always wanted to be as close to myself offstage, being funny with my buddies, and that's what I've worked hard on - being authentic to who I really am. Dane Cook tilt enthusiasm attitude I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow. Dane Cook kissing nice girl After you have loss in your life and after you experience something like losing your parents, the greatest gift of that was it prepared me for [anything]. Nothing else is as scary, and certainly stand-up comedy is not as scary as sitting there with your mom and having to have last conversations and things like that. It's heavy stuff, but it's enlightening because it makes me think I shouldn't be afraid of sharing ideas and thoughts with people. It's the yin and the yang of life. Dane Cook mom loss thinking I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage. Dane Cook numbers kids past Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination. Dane Cook effort imagination character I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle. Dane Cook spoons excited hands I don't like people that litter. If you don't throw a wrapper in the trashcan and you just toss it out on the ground I wanna take you and toss you into outer space. Dane Cook toss space people If a kid is really interested in wanting to have a career in aviation, he's actually learning and getting some of the [basics], not even just fringe. There are things in here that movie [Planes] about like the pulp of an engine, and it's the actual engine, the actual parts and pieces. So I felt like I got schooled as well. I learned a lot just being in there and doing that. Dane Cook just-being careers kids
