THE 2,000-YEAR-OLD MAN'S SECRETS OF LONGEVITY 1. Don't run for a bus - there'll always be another. 2. Never, ever touch fried food. 3. Stay out of a Ferrari or any other small Italian car. 4. Eat fruit - a nectarine - even a rotten plum is good. Mel Brooks More Quotes by Mel Brooks More Quotes From Mel Brooks Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. Mel Brooks skins humans people There's an army story in me, and I think there's a WWII Brooks film somewhere. Mel Brooks army stories thinking Ill just say whats in my heart: Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump. Mel Brooks my-heart bumps heart But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. Mel Brooks bad-taste taste In every spoof I make real love to the things I am spoofing. Mel Brooks spoof real-love real My brothers went to work at 12 and put themselves through school and brought the family out of ruin into food and clothing. Mel Brooks ruins brother school If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win. Mel Brooks soapbox dictator winning I also try to surround myself with people I love - make a family out of the company. So I tend to use the same people over and over. There's a sort of Mel Brooks Repertory Company. Mel Brooks use trying people I make people laugh for a living. I believe I can say objectively that what I do I do as well as anybody. Just say I'm one of the best broken field runners that ever lived. For 35 years I was a cult hero, an underground funny. Mel Brooks hero believe years Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius. Mel Brooks true-genius normal genius Sir, I have seen your film and it is vulgar! Madame, my film rises below vulgarity. Mel Brooks vulgar hollywood film When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I've always felt okay in Berlin. Mel Brooks berlin germany feelings Making a movie is like making an ocean voyage, and the script is your ship. Mel Brooks ships voyages ocean I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous. Mel Brooks dangerous rocks Directing is a terrible, anxious process. It's all collaboration, and if you have a dream, it's diluted very quickly by the slightest ineptness in any of your collaborators. They're supposed to help you, but too often they help you into your grave. Mel Brooks collaboration dream helping I know how to make it a great musical. I've got to. It's like I've got to see it on stage. Mel Brooks know-how stage musical I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn. Mel Brooks missions torches As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me. Mel Brooks fans guy mean I wanted to entertain so badly that I kept at it until I was good. I just browbeat my way into show business. Mel Brooks shows wanted way When I was a little boy, I thought when I grew up I would talk Yiddish. I thought little kids talked English, but when they became adults, they would talk Yiddish like the adults did. There would be no reason to talk English anymore, because we would have made it. Mel Brooks adults boys kids