Marci Shimoff: The best way to keep relationships happy, healthy, and...

The problem for most of us is that the cup has holes, so love goes out just as easily as it goes in. What happens when people are living in the unconditional state of love, however, is that they recognize they are the ocean of love; they know it's their essence. And they naturally overflow in this love. So instead of being love beggars, they become love philanthropists.

Marci Shimoff

ocean essence love-is

But i couldn't. Was nowhere near ready for a committed relationship, and it wouldn't be fair. I needed time - to become the right man for a woman like you.

Marci Shimoff

like-you committed men

Researchers tell us that we have about sixty thousand thoughts a day.

Marci Shimoff

sixty researchers thousand

I seem to have come out of the womb with existential angst and wasn't a happy kid, so I've been on a lifelong search trying to discover how to live the best life possible. I committed my life to doing what I could to experience greater happiness, which ultimately led me to write a book on the subject called Happy for No Reason.

Marci Shimoff

writing kids book

I interviewed 100 happy people - I call them my Happy 100 - and I learned amazing ideas and techniques from them that I began integrating into my life. I put them into practice - and they worked! I went from a D+ in happiness to an A-.

Marci Shimoff

practice people ideas

I did some more soul searching. I asked myself, "What do I want more than happiness?" and there was only one answer - the only thing that trumps happiness is love. Not the kind of love we are normally taught about, but the kind of unconditional love that is a deep inner state which doesn't depend on any person, situation or a romantic partner. That's how I define Love for No Reason: it's an inner state of love.

Marci Shimoff

unconditional-love soul want

I wanted to know if we could live in that state of love, not just every so often, but as an ongoing reality. The answer is YES. There are people who are doing just that, and I wanted to share with the world how they're consistently living in a state of love.

Marci Shimoff

ongoing reality people

Easy to read, yet filled with wisdom that will penetrate your heart, this book puts the power back in your hands. It’s a must have.

Marci Shimoff

heart book hands

Most people think of love as an energy between two people, which it is, but it's not only that. When we think of love in those limited terms, we become what I call "love beggars." We walk around looking for love outside of ourselves. We'll go up to people as though we have a beggar's cup in our hands and look to them to fill up our cup.

Marci Shimoff

love-is hands thinking

Dump ‘Em is the non-confrontationalist’s dream. With her easy-to-follow scripts and step-by-step plans, Jodyne Speyer provides a clear roadmap for ending even the most difficult relationships.

Marci Shimoff

ems scripts dream

The challenges we've had personally and globally have been the catalysts needed to let go of old ways of being that aren't the vibration of love.

Marci Shimoff

challenges letting-go way

And finally, there's the seventh doorway, the Doorway of Oneness, which corresponds to the crown center, located at the top of the head. This doorway has to do with feeling whole and connected to all of life, connected to spirit

Marci Shimoff

crowns oneness feelings

The sixth doorway is the Doorway of Vision. This relates to seeing with the eyes of love and corresponds to the energy center located in the third eye area of our forehead. When this doorway is open, we're more able to see life through love instead of differences.

Marci Shimoff

vision differences eye

The fifth doorway to experiencing Love for No Reason is the Doorway of Communication, which corresponds to the energy center located in the throat area. This doorway relates to speaking and listening with compassion, rather than judgment. There are some wonderful tools and techniques available to help us speak and listen with compassion that I've included in this chapter.

Marci Shimoff

communication compassion listening

The fourth doorway is the Doorway of Openness located in our heart center. It has to do with being open to both giving and receiving love. It's not just about being able to give, but it's also about the ability to be open to receive. There's a certain vulnerability in receiving. When we truly take in and appreciate all of the gifts of life, then our hearts are truly open in love.

Marci Shimoff

receiving-love heart giving

There's a beautiful forgiveness practice I love which is quite simple. It's called "Ho'oponopono" (pronounced: ho-o-pono-pono) and it's a lot easier to do than it is to say. It's a Kahuna Hawaiian technique, which involves repeating four phrases internally toward yourself or the person whom you're having a hard time forgiving.

Marci Shimoff

hard-times simple beautiful

What would our lives be like if we could all be happy no matter what?

Marci Shimoff

our-lives life-is-like matter

The second doorway has to do with vitality. It's about feeling alive, vital, and feeling the life-force flow through us. This doorway is also known as the creativity center and it houses a great sense of aliveness in it.

Marci Shimoff

creativity house feelings

The concept (of happiness) is universal. In Buddhism, it is called causeless joy, in Christianity, the kingdom of heaven within, and in Judaism it is called ashrei, an inner sense of holiness and health. Is Islam it is called falah, happiness and well-being, and in Hinduism it is called ananda, or pure bliss.

Marci Shimoff

buddhism joy happiness

The basis of all love is self-love and we certainly suffer a lot in our society from lack of self-love. When we don't take care of ourselves, it's really just a symptom of not loving ourselves. So the worst thing that we can do is to beat ourselves up for how we've already treated ourselves.

Marci Shimoff

suffering self love-is

The best way to keep relationships happy, healthy, and supportive can be summed up in one word: appreciation. What you appreciate, appreciates. When we demonstrate our appreciation for the support we receive from others, it reinforces that behavior and deepens our connection to them.