The Customer isn't always right. Sometimes the customer is an a**hole. That's the first rule of retail. Kelly Link More Quotes by Kelly Link More Quotes From Kelly Link I would like to write a novel, or at least try to write one, although my motives are not entirely pure. For one thing, I get asked about writing novels so much that I feel guilty about never having written one. And although I have no strong desire to write a novel, I would hate not to try. That would just be silly. On the other hand, I hate the idea of slogging through something that turns out to be not good. Kelly Link hate strong silly The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed and given to evil habits, or else it can be a man in his late forties who works too much, or it can be an alarm clock. Kelly Link too-much evil men The world is a dangerous place, full of people who don't trust each other. This is why I am staying up in this tree. Kelly Link tree people world Topiary has always seemed like a good occupation, comparable in some ways to writing short fiction. Kelly Link occupation writing fiction Our eyes are always blind when they view the future. Kelly Link blind eye views Most of the things that I remember from childhood wouldn't make a particularly good story: rescuing worms during rainstorms, our schnauzer attacking a wheel of cheese when someone dropped it during dinner, my parents tricking us into riding Space Mountain at Disney World (we thought it was an educational people-mover kind of ride), playing Star Wars (I got to marry Harrison Ford and my sister married Luke Skywalker) in first and second grade. On the other hand, we always had lots of interesting babysitters--seminary students and friends of my parents--who told really good ghost stories. Kelly Link educational stars war I don't abandon stories once I've started working on them. Once I sit down and start a story, I'll be damned if I'm going to give up on it. But I do reject most of the ideas for stories that I come up with. Kelly Link giving-up stories ideas Becka was almost good looking enough to be on a reality dating show, but not funny looking or sad enough to be on one of the makeover shows. Kelly Link dating looking-good reality When I'm up for an award, there are usually two or three other things on the ballot that I like better than my own fiction. Kelly Link awards three two You say that if we hadn't just gotten married, you would want to marry Miss Arkansas. Even if she can't spell. She can sit on her hair. A lover could climb that hair like a gym rope. It's fairy-tale hair, Rapunzel hair. We saw her practicing for the pageant in the hotel ballroom with two wild pigs, her hair braided into two lassoes. Kelly Link hair pigs two There are stories about winter ghosts found tangled like lice in their lovers' hair. Dead people have no hair themselves, which is how they can be recognized in winter. But in summer, the living and dead may pass each other on the street, and no one knows the difference. Kelly Link summer hair winter I didn't do anything as active as deciding that I wanted to be a writer. For one thing, I didn't feel like I was the final authority on whether or not I was anything like a writer. (I'm a timid soul.) I just kept writing stories, because becoming a veterinarian seemed as if it involved too much dissection. Kelly Link finals soul writing The zombies were like Canadians, in that they looked enough like real people at first, to fool you. Kelly Link zombie real people Remember, when you don’t know what to do, it never hurts to play Scrabble. It’s like reading the I Ching or tea leaves. Kelly Link reading hurt play You should never poison a witch. Kelly Link witch poison should A monster. You and your friends, all of you. Pretty monsters. It's a stage all girls go through. If you're lucky you get through it without doing any permanent damage to yourself or anyone else. Kelly Link teenager girl inspirational You were going to travel for love, without shoes, or cloak, or common sense. This is one of the things a woman can do when her lover leaves her. It's hard on the feet perhaps, but staying at home is hard on the heart, and you weren't quite ready to give up on him yet. Kelly Link giving-up home heart There was something about clowns that was worse than zombies. (Or maybe something that was the same. When you see a zombie, you want to laugh at first. When you see a clown, most people get a little nervous. There's the pallor and the cakey mortician-style makeup, the shuffling and the untidy hair. But clowns were probably malicious, and they moved fast on those little bicycles and in those little crammed cars. Zombies weren't much of anything. They didn't carry musical instruments and they didn't care whether or not you laughed at them. You always knew what zombies wanted.) Kelly Link makeup hair people You may very well ask what the goddess of love is doing in St. Andrews, writing trashy romances. Adapting. Kelly Link romance writing love-is A vampire is a flexible metaphor. You know, death, sex, change, stagnation, loss of self, loss of agency, having to keep one's real self secret, the possibility of something lasting forever: love, hate, grief. Kelly Link hate real sex
