The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included. Gary Gulman More Quotes by Gary Gulman More Quotes From Gary Gulman I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy. Gary Gulman events politics thinking I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that. Gary Gulman obsessive wonder trying The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting. Gary Gulman guy hair people The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented. Gary Gulman coffee keys paper I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators. Gary Gulman nickels quarters hate There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold. Gary Gulman rainbow kissing gold What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it. Gary Gulman different way needs It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career. Gary Gulman make-or-break tonight careers There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way. Gary Gulman drug talking way As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened. Gary Gulman charlie teacher children I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game. Gary Gulman crowds shining games Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda? Gary Gulman ironic iraq als It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny. Gary Gulman real people thinking I think everything is fair game to a certain extent. Gary Gulman certain games thinking For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down. Gary Gulman records writing years With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable. Gary Gulman basketball athlete night Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent. Gary Gulman gypsy talent guitar I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts. Gary Gulman born growing-up dad I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence. Gary Gulman confidence writing thinking I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now. Gary Gulman games years thinking