The desire for self-esteem without integrity is like the desire for wealth without effort-a longing for the unearned. Nathaniel Branden More Quotes by Nathaniel Branden More Quotes From Nathaniel Branden In the nature of our existence, we must act to achieve values. And in order to act appropriately, we need to value the beneficiary of our actions. In order to seek values, we must consider ourselves worthy of enjoying them. In order to fight for our happiness, we must consider ourselves worthy of happiness. Nathaniel Branden fighting order needs Integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs-and behavior. When our behavior is congruent with our professed values, when ideals and practice match up, we have integrity. Nathaniel Branden belief practice integrity For children mastery entails struggle. This means they must be permitted to struggle. If parents inappropriately step in to "help"-out of impatience or solicitude-they sabotage important learning. Among other things, the child is unlikely to discover the advantages of perseverance and self-discipline. Nathaniel Branden perseverance struggle children Even when our life is most difficult, it is important to remember that something within us is keeping us alive- the life force-that lift us, energizes us, pulls us back sometimes from the abyss of despair. True spirituality does not exist without love of life. Nathaniel Branden love-life despair important Productive achievement is a consequence and an expression of health and self-esteem, not its cause. Nathaniel Branden accomplishment self-esteem expression Anyone who really loves you wants you to be authentic. And anyone who doesn't want you to be authentic doesn't really love you. Nathaniel Branden authenticity want love-you We are anxious when there is a dissonance between our "knowledge" and the perceivable facts. Since our "knowledge" is not to be doubted or questioned, it is the facts that have to be altered. Nathaniel Branden dissonance truth facts There is no value-judgment more important to a man--no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation--than the estimate he passes on himself. Nathaniel Branden confidence motivation men To love is to see myself in you and to wish to celebrate myself with you. What I love is the embodiment of my values in another person. Love is an act of self-assertion, self-expression and a celebration of being alive. Nathaniel Branden expression self love-is A depression is a large-scale decline in production and trade...there is nothing in the nature of a free-market economy to cause such an event. Nathaniel Branden economy events causes We tend to feel most comfortable, "most at home", with people whose self esteem level resembles our own. Nathaniel Branden self-esteem home people Taking on responsibilities that properly belong to someone else means behaving irresponsibly toward yourself. You need to know where you end and someone else begins. You need to understand boundaries. You need to know what is and is not up to you, what is and is not in your control, what is and is not your responsibility. Nathaniel Branden responsibility mean needs Of all the judgments you make in life, none is as important as the one you make about yourself. The difference between low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the difference between passivity and action, between failure and success. Nathaniel Branden differences important self-esteem Feel deeply to think clearly. Nathaniel Branden feels thinking Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of the misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves-their convictions and their aspirations-every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them. Nathaniel Branden fighting desire people You have a right to your feelings. Your feelings are there to tell you something, but they are not infallible guides to behavior. Nathaniel Branden guides behavior feelings If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness. You are moving out into life rather than contracting and withdrawing. Nathaniel Branden self fear moving It is very difficult to accept in others emotions you cannot accept in yourself. Nathaniel Branden difficult accepting emotion Romantic love can be terrifying. We experience another human being as enormously important to us. So there is surrender -not a surrender to the other person so much as to our feeling for the other person. What is the obstacle? The possibility of loss. Nathaniel Branden romantic-love loss happiness Positive self-esteem operates as, in effect, the immune system of the consciousness, providing resistance, strength, and a capacity for regeneration. When self-esteem is low, our resilience in the face of life's adversities is diminished. We crumble before vicissitudes that a healthier sense of self could vanquish. We tend to be more influenced by the desire to avoid pain than to experience joy. Negatives have more power over us than positives. Nathaniel Branden adversity pain self-esteem
