The difference between two men is usually a woman. Evan Esar More Quotes by Evan Esar More Quotes From Evan Esar It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others. Evan Esar affair wisdom men Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I. Evan Esar brides bride-and-groom remember After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride. Evan Esar brides giving father A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins. Evan Esar mother education teacher The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been. Evan Esar becoming wisdom wise Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it. Evan Esar willing work men An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought. Evan Esar instruments language sometimes Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom. Evan Esar bottom blow people A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman. Evan Esar homosexual ifs men Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall. Evan Esar climate winter fall Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure. Evan Esar intellectual teaching mind A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other. Evan Esar numb dumb teaching The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking]. Evan Esar tongue tired talking Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches. Evan Esar congress speech mouths All work and no pay makes a housewife. Evan Esar housewife pay Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting. Evan Esar slavery work men A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss. Evan Esar boss going-to-work men The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook--and isn't. Evan Esar things-in-life cooking looks In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules. Evan Esar congress majority minorities About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn. Evan Esar conform congress people
