The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. Frank Pittman More Quotes by Frank Pittman More Quotes From Frank Pittman The great passion in a man's life may not be for women or men or wealth or toys or fame, or even for his children, but for his masculinity, and at any point in his life he may be tempted to throw over the things for which he regularly lays down his life for the sake of that masculinity. He may keep this passion secret from women, and he may even deny it to himself, but the other boys know it about themselves and the wiser ones know it about the rest of us as well. Frank Pittman passion boys children We never really are the adults we pretend to be. We wear the mask and perhaps the clothes and posture of grown-ups, but inside ourskin we are never as wise or as sure or as strong as we want to convince ourselves and others we are. We may fool all the rest of the people all of the time, but we never fool our parents. They can see behind the mask of adulthood. To her mommy and daddy, the empress never has on any clothes--and knows it. Frank Pittman growing-up strong wise Parents offer an open womb. More than anyone else in your life, mothers, and sometimes fathers, can kiss it, and make it well whentheir grown children need to regress and repair. More than anyone else in your life, mothers, and sometimes fathers, can catch you when you start to fall. When you are in disgrace, defeat, and despair, home may be the safest place to hide. Frank Pittman mother father children When the masculine mystique is pulling boys and men out into the world to growl manly noises at one another, the only power with astronger pull on the male psyche is maternally induced guilt. The guilt is quite necessary for our moral development, but it is often uncomfortable. Frank Pittman guilt men boys Mother love has been much maligned. An over mothered boy may go through life expecting each new woman to love him the way his mother did. Her love may make any other love seem inadequate. But an unloved boy would be even more likely to idealize love. I don't think it's possible for a mother or father to love a child too much. Frank Pittman family mother children Why do otherwise sane, competent, strong men, men who can wrestle bears or raid corporations, shrink away in horror at the thought of washing a dish or changing a diaper? Frank Pittman insecurity strong men We know how powerful our mother was when we were little, but is our wife that powerful to us now? Must we relive our great deed of escape from Mama with every other woman in our life? Frank Pittman wife powerful mother No one, however powerful and successful, can function as an adult if his parents are not satisfied with him. Frank Pittman powerful parent successful Parents can make us distrust ourselves. To them, we seem always to be works-in-progress. Frank Pittman distrust progress parent Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. Frank Pittman perfect-parents being-a-parent men If fathers who fear fathering and run away from it could only see how little fathering is enough. Mostly, the father just needs to be there. Frank Pittman running father needs A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother. Frank Pittman mother boys long In time, after a dozen years of centering their lives around the games boys play with one another, the boys' bodies change and that changes everything else. But the memories are not erased of that safest time in the lives of men, when their prime concern was playing games with guys who just wanted to be their friendly competitors. Life never again gets so simple. Frank Pittman simple memories boys I'm not suggesting that all men are beautiful, vulnerable boys, but we all started out that way. What happened to us? How did we become monsters of feminist nightmares? The answer, of course, is that we underwent a careful and deliberate process of gender training, sometimes brutal, always dehumanizing, cutting away large chunks of ourselves. Little girls went through something similarly crippling. If the gender training was successful, we each ended up being half a person. Frank Pittman cutting girl beautiful
