The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just... by Tucker Max

The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".

Tucker Max

Image Embed Code

Categorized in : Intellectual Levels Florida

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

deep-thought temptation wish

Ladies, you may not realize this, understand this, or even believe this, but everything else we do is ultimately for you. Men don't do anything-create art, build businesses, donate to charity, invent things, or do anything noteworthy-for any reason other than to impress women, and thus get them to have sex with us. If women didn't exist, we'd still just be naked grunting apes living in caves. In a very real way, pussy is the key to human civilization. You don't have to like it, but it's a fact; if you understand it, you understand men.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

issues emotional girl

But here's the thing about being honest: All the liars HATE you for it, and most of the people in the world are liars. They lie to their bosses, they lie to their families, they lie to themselves, they lie so much they don't even know they're lying anymore. If you have the courage to be honest even a little bit all those people will hate you for it, because their lie is reflected in your honesty. Oscar Wilde wasn't kidding when he said, "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."

honesty hate lying

I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.

real drama thinking

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't... by Tucker Max

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

upset remember people

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

cat couple night

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.

demand men people

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them by Tucker Max

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them

Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I? by Tucker Max

Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?

insulted havens

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will... by Tucker Max

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.

want sheep firsts

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor

professors thai years

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.

good-person laughing people

And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.

support care want

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.

psychological defense people

You know that look a cop gives you when he's so confused that he doesn't even know how to respond? If you don't know that look, it means you haven't had enough fun in your life.

confused fun mean

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

lessons humility life-is

No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.

live-life hypocrite simple

The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.

smart hard-work thinking