The idea that academics should remain ''above the fray'' only gives ideologues license to misuse our work. Stephanie Coontz More Quotes by Stephanie Coontz More Quotes From Stephanie Coontz The historical weight of gender inequality has tended to concentrate women in lower-paid jobs with fewer benefits, at the same time made them primarily responsible for care giving. Stephanie Coontz care historical giving There is a lack of collective support or social support for working people in America. We're told, "You can be, as an individual, anything you want to be, but it must be at something else's - or somebody else's - expense." Stephanie Coontz support america people The historical weight of gender inequality has tended to concentrate women in lower-paid jobs with fewer benefits and at the same time made them primarily responsible for care giving. Stephanie Coontz historical jobs giving The benefits of feminism have been unequally distributed, because the move toward gender equality and gender neutrality has been countered to a large extent by the increase in economic inequality. Stephanie Coontz feminism economic-inequality moving Women are told that we can have the most exciting, glamorous, demanding, rewarding careers ever but we also have to be constantly sexy and sexually interested, and when we have children we have to spend more time with our kids. Of course you can't really do all three of those things at once, so we feel this tremendous stress. Stephanie Coontz sexy stress children Around the early 19th century, men took on this special role as providers and protectors, and with that came a whole ideology. Men began to embrace a masculine identity that was based on not doing women's work, women also began to embrace a new identity, unheard of in colonial days : We are the family expert. We know how to raise kids. We know how to change diapers. Institutions began to be organized around this idea. Stephanie Coontz health-news In personal life, the warm glow of nostalgia amplifies good memories and minimizes bad ones about experiences and relationships, encouraging us to revisit and renew our ties with friends and family. It always involves a little harmless self-deception, like forgetting the pain of childbirth. Stephanie Coontz good family memories life Inequality was written into the creation of the American Republic when our Founding Fathers denied voting rights to women. Stephanie Coontz inequality women creation voting As time passes, the actual complexity of our history - even of our own personal experience - gets buried under the weight of the ideal image. Stephanie Coontz own experience time history Many alternatives to traditional marriage have emerged. People feel free to shop around, experimenting with several living arrangements in succession. And when people do marry, they have different expectations and goals. Stephanie Coontz goals feel marriage people People feel better when their spouses have good friendships, over and above the effects of their own friendships. Stephanie Coontz feel better good people I am not arguing that women ought to 'settle.' I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financial security, social status, and sense of accomplishment. Stephanie Coontz i-am women accomplishment men Marriage has been in a constant state of evolution since the dawn of the Stone Age. In the process, it has become more flexible - but also more optional. Stephanie Coontz stone marriage dawn age Contrary to the fears of some pundits, the ascent of women does not portend the end of men. It offers a new beginning for both. But women's progress by itself is not a panacea for America's inequities. Stephanie Coontz beginning progress women men When you can't change what's bothering you, one typical response is to convince yourself that it doesn't actually bother you. Stephanie Coontz yourself you convince change Valentine's Day is a perfect time to reject the idea that the ideal man is taller, richer, more knowledgeable, more renowned, or more powerful. Stephanie Coontz day man perfect time For a century, women have binged on romance novels that encouraged them to associate intimidation with infatuation; it's no wonder that this emotional hangover still lingers. Stephanie Coontz hangover women emotional wonder Americans are right to believe the American Dream is fading. But that dream only became a possibility for white men as a result of the labor struggles and reforms of the New Deal, and it began to extend to minorities and women only after the civil rights and women's movements of the 1960s and 1970s. Stephanie Coontz women white men believe If the ascent of women has been much exaggerated, so has the descent of men. Stephanie Coontz much been women men Deciding together to have a child and sharing in child-rearing do not immunize a marriage. Indeed, collaborative couples can face other problems. They often embark on such an intense style of parenting that they end up paying less attention to each other. Stephanie Coontz parenting style marriage together
