The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler. Evan Esar More Quotes by Evan Esar More Quotes From Evan Esar Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does. Evan Esar bragging doe men A bore finds it easy to start talking, and even easier to get others to stop listening. Evan Esar easy listening talking The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible. Evan Esar peculiar ifs impossible Women diet to retain their girlish figures or their boyish husbands. Evan Esar boyish figures husband Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others. Evan Esar reactionaries want way The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors. Evan Esar debt worry men A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting. Evan Esar company waiting men Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible. Evan Esar sound littles art Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed. Evan Esar officials corruption The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day. Evan Esar survival loneliness men Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches. Evan Esar divorce play people The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself. Evan Esar lecturer subjects teaching Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice. Evan Esar cowardice conscience credit The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing. Evan Esar lazy-man trying men Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either. Evan Esar business believe lying A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him. Evan Esar cynicism littles world A word to the wise is -- unnecessary. Evan Esar unnecessary wisdom wise The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error. Evan Esar running men book If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal. Evan Esar normal differences different The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight. Evan Esar dieting weight pounds