The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion. Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg More Quotes From Marshall B. Rosenberg This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it. Marshall B. Rosenberg purposeaskingpeople When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. Marshall B. Rosenberg compassionpeopleneeds Understanding and connection can transcend conflict. Marshall B. Rosenberg connectionscommunicationunderstanding Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill. Marshall B. Rosenberg punishmentcommunicationself-esteem In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief. Marshall B. Rosenberg empathycommunicationopportunity I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing. Marshall B. Rosenberg trainingwayneeds Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationhateblessing I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationmotivationbelieve We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationhatredself Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges. Marshall B. Rosenberg punishmentprivilegecommunication When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings. Marshall B. Rosenberg slavefeelingsneeds We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act. Marshall B. Rosenberg responsiblecommunicationpeople Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationcriticismresponsibility Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationexpressionneeds In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationwantneeds Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it. Marshall B. Rosenberg evaluationcommunicationpeople As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationspeakheart Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Marshall B. Rosenberg strongofferinggiving The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests. Marshall B. Rosenberg communicationnumberstwo If you have an image of someone cutting off a relationship, it's the cutting off that will lead to your suffering. If you see the action as their need being expressed, then the message is within them, not you. Any interpretation you put onto another person's message (such as passive-aggressive, withholding, etc.), you will pay for because of how you took it. Marshall B. Rosenberg cuttingcommunicationsuffering
