The most significant and destructive characteristic of addictions is that they occur in isolation Paul Hokemeyer More Quotes by Paul Hokemeyer More Quotes From Paul Hokemeyer With the proper motivation and a conscious cultivation of resiliency, you'll soon emerge from the pathology of this election. Paul Hokemeyer Attractiveness demands an ease of being. It's comfortable and relaxed while bearing the mark of individuality. Paul Hokemeyer "I see psychotherapy is an art grounded in science. The art consists of connecting with a patient where he or she is, then using solid evidentiary methodologies and interventions to move the patient toward a reparative experience." The Wall Street Journal Paul Hokemeyer A good goal in life is to be intentional. We've got to force ourselves to plug into the voice that tell us we're deserving to claim that richer, fuller life. Paul Hokemeyer Human beings are built for relationships. It's in our DNA Paul Hokemeyer In contrast to those seeking treatment for drug and alcohol addictions, people who suffer from sexual addictions face more obstacles to getting effective care. These include the controversy surrounding the disorder’s existence that prevents treatment from being covered by insurance, the shame and guilt that keeps the people who suffer from asking for help and the scarcity of competent clinicians who can treat it. Paul Hokemeyer It’s important that () treatment be methodically and holistically addressed in a structured and safe frame. (Patients) need to be understood rather than judged, heard rather than preached at. They must be able to lay the weight of their world in the clinician’s hands and trust that he or she won’t drop it. Paul Hokemeyer Leading up to (divorce), the parties have to ry on different ways of being in the world. This means being single, sexually active, emotionally vulnerable with another human being. Paul Hokemeyer My awareness of myself and my own issues enables me to relate to and feel compassion towards the vulnerability of being human. Its is the thing we share and it gives us a strong foundation to build upon. Paul Hokemeyer Patients who suffer from sexual addictions enter treatment paralyzed by shame and humiliation. They describe themselves as “evil” and “defective.” They desperately want to be liberated from the crush of their destructive behavior, but can’t get out from under it’s demoralizing weight Paul Hokemeyer People are attracted to authentic beauty that has a human rather than mannequin quality. Paul Hokemeyer People are human beings, not commercial transactions. Paul Hokemeyer People who filed for divorce have reached a point in their lives where they are no longer able to honor the commitment they made in their wedding vows. Paul Hokemeyer People [also] lie because they suffer from an addictive or relational condition like a narcissistic, anti-social or borderline personality disorder. These people lie to manipulate others, Paul Hokemeyer Perfect people are annoying and off-putting. We connect with people through their cracks. It's what makes them human and, ultimately, attractive. Paul Hokemeyer Selfies are about self-admiration. They provide people of all ages constant opportunities to obsess about their looks and their external presentation Paul Hokemeyer She reads Proust and he watches the Kardashians. Or worse, he wanted Clinton to win and she crows about Trump’s victory. Yes, the second will be much harder to overcome than the first, but relational happiness can prevail Paul Hokemeyer The goal (of psychotherapy) is for the patient to internalize the reparative relationship with their clinician. The Wall Street Journal Paul Hokemeyer The key of liberation is to acknowledge that your unhealthy response to other peoples’ behavior is a habit – and most importantly – that it’s a habit you can break. Paul Hokemeyer The key to working through these (relationship) differences is focusing on that which you love, and putting boundaries around that which you don’t. You’ll also need to avoid the temptation to demean and humiliate your mate for their beliefs. It will take practice and incredible self-regulation, but success in these areas will greatly enhance the quality of your relationship. Paul Hokemeyer