The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself. John Mortimer More Quotes by John Mortimer More Quotes From John Mortimer There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people; Marlowe was a spy; Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes. John Mortimer play book people The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech. John Mortimer freedom-of-speech business sound I don't believe in children's books. I think after you've read Kidnapped, Treasure Island, and Huckleberry Finn, you're ready for anything. John Mortimer believe book children All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting. John Mortimer aggravation flower children The main aim of education should be to send children out into the world with a reasonably sized anthology in their heads so that, while seated on the lavatory, waiting in doctors' surgeries, on stationary trains or watching interviews with politicians, they may have something interesting to think about. John Mortimer education children thinking Irritable Judges suffer from a bad case of premature adjudication. John Mortimer judging suffering justice Success is good for the character. John Mortimer character On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and has always been very fond of pigs. Of course, they are for eating, which is why they are named Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You wouldn’t want to eat Rufus, Marcus and Esmeralda. John Mortimer lunch pigs years The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors. John Mortimer squad cutting book I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable. John Mortimer hate hurt children Knowing the law is not much help for an advocate. In fact, it's a bit of a disadvantage, cramps your style. John Mortimer help your style law I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer worth diet my-life life The hardest thing is to write a play, because you have to hold their attention for two hours, and if you let them go for five minutes, they're gone for good. John Mortimer good go you attention The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yogurt. John Mortimer somewhere milk modern life Life as a barrister never was terribly real to me, and courtrooms were always a place of fantasy to me. They had nothing to do with discovering the truth, really, of course. John Mortimer place me truth life One thing my father said was that if you find yourself in a country where you have to carry papers, you know it has a lousy government. John Mortimer yourself you government father I knew early on that I was going to be a writer. I think it's something rather like a curse that you're born with. John Mortimer think you curse born My father was the doyen of the divorce barristers. He was an extremely erudite and very famous divorce barrister. So that, when I was a little boy in the nursery, instead of a story like 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,' I used to get 'The Duchess and the Seven Correspondents.' John Mortimer boy white snow father I try and treat my children from the age of ten months as if they were totally grown up, which I think is the only way to treat children. John Mortimer treat think age children There are lots of similarities between being a writer and a lawyer: to tell a story to a jury, hold their attention, make them laugh, make them like you. But what makes being a barrister less satisfying than being a writer is, finally, that it's about what someone else wants you to say. John Mortimer laugh you lawyer attention
