The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing. Evan Esar More Quotes by Evan Esar More Quotes From Evan Esar Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat. Evan Esar fats worry people Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes. Evan Esar ifs waiting More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices. Evan Esar doctors office dresses There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living. Evan Esar one-thing work The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get. Evan Esar hardest diamond stones The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband. Evan Esar reform husband trying Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more. Evan Esar teaching education teacher An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing. Evan Esar confusing experts sound The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself. Evan Esar use advice giving You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it. Evan Esar lending loan needs All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait. Evan Esar leftovers all-things waiting Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together. Evan Esar egocentric egotism together Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself. Evan Esar egotism opinion men An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce. Evan Esar wit-and-wisdom wit divorce A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change. Evan Esar credit trouble cards You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him. Evan Esar doctors judging giving A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit. Evan Esar bureaucrats bureaucracy fit It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law. Evan Esar customs conformity law The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening. Evan Esar argument listening sides When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue. Evan Esar tongue laziness
