The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer. Chris Farley More Quotes by Chris Farley More Quotes From Chris Farley In the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king! Chris Farley landkingsreality First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river. Chris Farley riversyearsfirsts I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem. Chris Farley weight-problemsdoctorslittles I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants! Chris Farley chocolatepuddingsheep I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like that. But I'm curbing them because I want to continue to do comedy, and the two don't mix. So I try to fight those demons. Chris Farley battlefightingtwo Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug. Chris Farley hugbrotherhands I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it. Chris Farley bonesbullslooks I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER. Chris Farley saturday-night-livevansrivers Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt. Chris Farley had-enoughwould-befame I want to live fast and die young. Chris Farley live-fastyoungwant I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work... on a treadmill and with the weights, but it was driving me nuts. So I escaped. Tom Arnold picked me up and we went to Le Dome and had tons of desserts. Chris Farley poundsnutstrying Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes. Chris Farley differentplaycharacter I used to think that you could get to a level of success where the laws of the universe didn't apply. But they do. It's still life on life's terms, not on movie-star terms. I still have to work at relationships. I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons. Chris Farley starslawthinking I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons. Chris Farley demonstillsweight People need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.' Chris Farley averagelaughingpeople Everybody laughs when fatty falls down. Chris Farley falling-downlaughingfall You gotta fight for your right to vote! Chris Farley right-to-votevotefighting The (original) concept was the Shrek character was a little bit more like Chris, like a humble, bumbling innocent guy. Chris Farley entertainment People see me and they go, 'Help! A big, stupid, stinky, smelly, ugly ogre! I'm so scared!' And they judge me before they even know me. Chris Farley entertainment I remember one time when all the nuns in my Catholic grade school got around in a semicircle, me and Mom in the middle, and they said, 'Mrs. Farley, the children at school are laughing at Christopher, not with him.' I thought, 'Who cares? As long as they're laughing.' Chris Farley metimelongchildren
