The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it? Demetri Martin More Quotes by Demetri Martin More Quotes From Demetri Martin I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment. Demetri Martin turns crime want They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that. Demetri Martin multiple structure figures It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single. Demetri Martin enough sorry mean I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's. Demetri Martin good-students students kids I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone. Demetri Martin girl done laughing When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years. Demetri Martin trying world years Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name... Demetri Martin powerful names sound Let no man's deathbed be a futon. Demetri Martin futons deathbed men A mobile home with a flat tire is a home. Demetri Martin flats tire home As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it. Demetri Martin comic stuff thinking I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games. Demetri Martin design games people I go the gym and I try to run on the treadmill and I listen to music but it doesn't motivate me enough. So I'm going to get a recording of a pack of wolves gaining on me. People would be like, 'Why is that guy crying on that treadmill over there?' 'I don't know, but he's been yelling, 'help' for like 20 minutes. He's getting a good workout. Demetri Martin yelling workout running Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many. Demetri Martin bras cups coffee It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt. Demetri Martin gay fighting men Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Demetri Martin writing laughing thinking When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun. Demetri Martin gun trying water I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, "Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good." Hopefully it balances out. Demetri Martin hate people thinking As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress. Demetri Martin progress creative want I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary. Demetri Martin house people years Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes. Demetri Martin block use play
