The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to. Terry Pratchett More Quotes by Terry Pratchett More Quotes From Terry Pratchett He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower. Terry Pratchett tunnelslightdeath We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything. Terry Pratchett laughingdeaththinking It's still magic even if you know how it's done. Terry Pratchett magictechnologydone Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. "There's your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like "Oh oh oh, I am dyin', oh I am dyin', oh oh oh, that's what I'm doin'", and there's your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes "Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!", although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That's basically all of opera, reely. Terry Pratchett lightbeertwo It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows. Terry Pratchett turtlesatheistnumbers Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise. Terry Pratchett fireairwater Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it. Terry Pratchett meanbookhands SCIENCE: a way of finding things out and then making them work. Science explains what is happening around us the whole time. So does RELIGION, but science is better because it comes up with more understandable excuses when it's wrong. Terry Pratchett excusedoeway Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question. Terry Pratchett answerssometimesinteresting Open your eyes and then open your eyes again. Terry Pratchett eye The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football. Terry Pratchett footballsoccersports The harder I work, the luckier I become. Terry Pratchett inspirational-lifeworkpositive The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one. Terry Pratchett malesfemalemind Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Terry Pratchett discworldstupidityreal People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library. Terry Pratchett simplestupidbook He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ wolves. Terry Pratchett foxessheepmight People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked. Terry Pratchett temptationopportunitypeople When you look into the abyss, it’s not supposed to wave back. Terry Pratchett abysswavelooks There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist. Terry Pratchett alzheimerskeysthinking The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it. Terry Pratchett squaresrootsnumbers
